Beyond Tug-of-War Theology

A woman in our church had a prophetic vision that perfectly captures the state of Christianity today. She saw two groups of believers locked in an intense game of tug-of-war, each side pulling with all their might. Between them was a flag, and beneath that flag was a deep well of living water.

As they pulled back and forth, fighting over who was right, the flag just moved from side to side. Meanwhile, people who desperately needed that living water couldn't reach it because of all the fighting and competition.

Then Jesus stepped in, grabbed the center of the rope, and pulled it up. When He did, all the sides came together around the well. The competition ended, and suddenly people could reach the life-giving water they needed.

But here's the part that initially disturbed me: after Jesus brought unity, an angel came down through the church ceiling, stomped his foot, and declared with authority, "Listen! The enemy is trying to divide you!"

The Warfare Behind Unity

For days, that angel's warning bothered me. If Jesus had already brought unity by lifting the rope, why the intense spiritual warfare warning?

Then it hit me: the more we move toward genuine unity, the more the enemy will resist. Division has been his primary strategy for undermining the Church's effectiveness. When believers start coming together across denominational lines, racial lines, and theological differences—when we start honoring each other instead of competing—heck gets nervous.

The angel wasn't contradicting Jesus's work; he was preparing us for the increased opposition that comes when we threaten the enemy's most successful tactic.

The Denominations I Love

I have friends who don't believe women should be pastors or teachers. I still love them deeply, and we maintain beautiful relationships despite our theological differences. How is this possible?

Because I've learned that we don't have to always agree in order to walk in honor with one another.

One of the most freeing discoveries of my life is that unity doesn't require uniformity. God created us different on purpose. He's about unity, not sameness. My perspective may be valuable, and your perspective may be valuable, even if they're different—maybe especially because they're different.

The problem isn't that we have different viewpoints. The problem is that we've been taught to approach differences with a competitive rather than collaborative spirit.

The Table Changes Everything

There's something powerful that happens when you bring people to the table instead of arguing from a distance. When you sit across from someone, share a meal, hear their story, and understand their heart, they stop being a theological position and become a real person.

I've discovered that most people I disagree with aren't motivated by malice—they're motivated by love. They want to honor God, protect truth, and serve people well. We might have different ideas about how to do that, but our hearts are often aligned even when our methods aren't.

When I understand that the person across from me loves Jesus just as much as I do, it completely changes how I engage with our differences. Instead of trying to win an argument, I become curious about their journey. What experiences shaped their understanding? What are they trying to protect? What truth are they trying to preserve?

The Father's Heart for Disagreement

Here's something that revolutionized my approach to conflict: the Father cares more about relationship than about being right.

Think about it—He's not approving of everything that's happening in the world or even in the Church right now, but He loves us enough to be with us as we are, walking alongside us as we grow and learn. He doesn't withdraw His presence every time we get something wrong.

If God Himself prioritizes relationship over correctness, shouldn't we do the same?

This doesn't mean truth doesn't matter. It absolutely does. But it means we can pursue truth together rather than defending it alone. We can seek understanding rather than just seeking to be understood.

The Power of Listening to Understand

Most of the time when we're in disagreement, we're not really listening to each other. We're listening to argue. We're listening to find the weak spots in their position so we can poke holes in it. We're listening to persuade rather than to understand.

But what if we approached disagreement differently? What if we said, "I want to understand why you believe what you believe. Help me see what you see"?

This doesn't mean we have to agree with everything we hear. But it means we honor the person enough to truly listen before we respond. And here's what I've discovered: when people feel heard and understood, they become much more open to hearing and understanding you in return.

Unity in Our Diversity

The vision of the tug-of-war rope being lifted illustrates something beautiful about God's design for His Church. We're not meant to be uniform—we're meant to be unified around Christ while maintaining our distinct gifts, perspectives, and callings.

Think about the human body. My hand doesn't have to become a foot for us to function as one body. In fact, if my hand tried to become a foot, we'd have a serious problem! The body works because each part maintains its unique function while serving the whole.

The same is true in the body of Christ. Denominations and movements exist because different groups have been entrusted with different aspects of God's truth and different approaches to ministry. Instead of competing, we could be completing each other.

The Cost of Division

But here's what breaks my heart about our current state of division: while we're busy pulling rope in different directions, people who need Jesus can't reach Him because of our fighting.

How many people have been turned off to Christianity not because they rejected Jesus, but because they were repelled by Christians' behavior toward each other? How many have walked away from churches because they witnessed the ugly politics, the power struggles, the inability of believers to love each other well?

Our disunity isn't just an internal problem—it's a barrier to evangelism. Jesus said the world would know we belong to Him by our love for one another (John 13:35 NIV). When we fail to love each other well, we undermine our witness to the world.

Beyond Competition to Collaboration

Moving beyond tug-of-war theology requires a fundamental shift in how we think about other believers and other churches. Instead of seeing them as competition, we can see them as partners. Instead of focusing on what they're doing wrong, we can celebrate what they're doing right.

This means:

·       Celebrating other churches' successes instead of feeling threatened by them

·       Learning from movements and denominations that have different strengths than ours

·       Referring people to other churches when they might be a better fit

·       Working together on community projects instead of duplicating efforts

·       Praying for other ministries instead of criticizing them

The Rope is Being Lifted

I believe we're living in a time when Jesus is grabbing the center of the rope and pulling it up. Across the country and around the world, I'm seeing believers from different backgrounds coming together around shared mission rather than fighting over secondary issues.

I'm seeing racial reconciliation happening in ways that seemed impossible just a few years ago. I'm seeing denominational walls breaking down as people recognize they have more in common than they thought. I'm seeing theological differences being discussed with curiosity rather than hostility.

But as the angel warned, this movement toward unity will be met with increased spiritual resistance. The enemy knows that a unified Church is a powerful Church, so he'll work overtime to reignite our divisions and competitions.

Standing Guard Against Division

This is why we need to be intentional about protecting unity. We need to:

• Refuse to engage in gossip about other believers or ministries

• Speak well of other churches even when we might do things differently

• Address conflicts directly and privately rather than triangulating others

• Focus on our own growth rather than criticizing others' shortcomings

• Choose love over being right when relationships are at stake

The Well Awaits

The living water is still there. Jesus is still standing by the well, inviting people to come and drink. But they can only reach Him when we stop fighting over who's right and start working together to point people to the One who is right.

This doesn't mean we stop having convictions or that all beliefs are equally valid. It means we hold our convictions with humility, pursue truth with curiosity, and love people—including people we disagree with—with the same unconditional love Christ has shown us.

The world is watching. They're waiting to see if we really believe what we say about love, grace, and redemption. They'll be convinced not by our perfect theology but by our imperfect people learning to love each other well despite their differences.

The rope is being lifted. The question is: Will we come together around the well, or will we keep fighting over who gets to hold the flag?

Blessings,
Susan 😊