The Unity Deception: How 'Headship' Was Turned Upside Down

Have you ever wondered how the very thing meant to convey unity has been turned around—stood on its head, if you will—to actually be used as a means of dividing? That's exactly what's happened with the biblical concept of "headship."

We have a pretty smart enemy who's studied us for a long time. Just like in the garden, he has one tactic and one only: to get us to divide. He'll do it by a lot of different means, but typically through lies, just like he did in the beginning. Why? Because he knows that our power comes in our unity.

He knows that's the only way we're actually going to take him down—when we truly become united, both with the Lord and united with each other. That's actually God's Kingdom come. That's our goal.

The Greek Reveals the Truth

Let me share something that will blow your mind. The word "head" in the New Testament is the Greek word kephalē. It's used 67 times in the New Testament, so it's clearly an important concept.

But here's what's remarkable: most of the time—55 of those 67 times, which is 82%—when it's being used, it's describing a physical head attached to a body, whether that's a body of a person or a body of an animal.

In the same timeframe that Paul was writing, in Greek literature, the head-body metaphor was often used for the purpose of describing unity. If you're talking about a head and a body in the same context, then the whole point would typically be that it's two parts of one whole.

Think about it this way: if someone says, "They put sackcloth on and they put ashes on their head," that's not a unity metaphor because it doesn't also talk about the body—it's just talking about clothing and ashes. But when it's talking about Christ being the head and we're the body, the whole point is that we're actually one.

The Enemy's Masterful Deception

Here's where the enemy has been absolutely masterful. He's taken the very concept meant to show our connectedness with Christ and with each other, and he's twisted it into a hierarchy that divides us.

In the beginning, the Lord warned us that part of the curse—or rather, part of the effect of sin—is that there would be enmity between Satan and the woman, and between her seed and his seed. The whole idea is that there actually is going to be enmity between Satan and the woman, and he's been after her since the beginning.

Why? Because if he can get us to divide and he can take the male and say, "You need to be over her," and she needs to feel like she just needs to diminish who she is to come under and not fully show up and not fully be present, then he limits our power because he limits our unity.

I cannot truly connect with someone I can't trust with my heart. That's just the way it is.

The Cornerstone, Not the Capstone

There are five other times in the New Testament where that same word for head (kephalē) is used to describe "cornerstone"—the head of the corner. This is crucial to understand.

Often when we think of the Lord, we think of Him as being the capstone—up at the top of the pyramid as the king of kings. But five times in the New Testament, it's quoting an Old Testament verse that says no, He's the cornerstone. And that cornerstone is going to be the stumbling block.

The whole point is that He comes low to lift others up. He's building a very different Kingdom, and it doesn't mean there's no order and it doesn't mean there's no structure. There's just not that sense of power hierarchy.

Jesus is the kephalē of the corner—the head of the corner. When you look at that as foundational rather than primacy, then it really does clarify the definition of head. The word "head" is often used, especially in the Old Testament, to mean "source"—like the head of a river.

It doesn't mean the grand poobah at the top. It means the literal initiation or the beginning of something. It's the thing that facilitates the growth and development of everything that follows.

My Personal Wrestling Match

I have to be honest with you—when I first started learning about this, I was being taught from the other perspective. I was being taught that with him being the head, that means basically he's the man in charge, and therefore you literally yield and lay down your life for him. The idea was that if he's the head, then you're the servant. If he's the master, you're the helper.

But when I discovered that it doesn't really mean "grand poobah," but rather "source," I kept trying to fit the word "source" into that old paradigm. Does that mean he has to initiate everything? We get really twisted when that's not what it means at all.

It just means he's united with us and connected with us, and as God, He is our creator. He is the source of love. He is the source of our affection. He is the source of life.

The Stumbling Block

This understanding of headship as unity rather than hierarchy is actually the stumbling block that Jesus talked about. It literally re-orients our entire world away from a power structure to a love structure.

And here's the thing—how do you control a love structure? How do you control that? You can't. Because humans are defined by their fear of death, by the fact that they feel threatened, by the survival instinct that whispers, "My life is at stake."

Going all the way back to the original temptation—"You have lack, you're not enough, God's holding out on you, He can't be trusted, you don't have what you need"—that whole fear of death, of not having enough, becomes the existential foundation of how we interact with each other. It defines our relationships.

But when you shift from a power system to a love organism and you begin to live out love, then it takes away that fear. Then you can be vulnerable. You can be open. You can truly trust. And that's when relationships actually begin to be fulfilling.

The Beautiful Truth

With kephalē, the vast majority of the time it's used to describe unity between a head and a body, talking about their connectedness. The whole point is that they are connected.

The word "head" is actually a beautiful thing in God's Kingdom. It is actually Christ, our head, demonstrating Him laying His life down, becoming the cornerstone to lift us up.

Again, the head-body metaphor is all about connectedness and unity. It's not at all about one being over or more preeminent than the other. That's not the purpose of the word.

Time to Get Our Heads Straight

It's time for us to stop allowing the enemy to use God's beautiful design for unity as a weapon of division. It's time to understand that when Scripture talks about headship, it's talking about the most intimate, connected, unified relationship possible.

The head came down literally and became one of us—God in the flesh. Emmanuel during the Christmas season. He actually came down to become one of us, to enter into our darkness so that we could enter into His light, so we could become one with Him.

That's what headship actually means—that we are one with our groom. We are one with Him. And we're supposed to understand that our hearts can trust and open to that relationship.

The enemy has gotten us to lay down all of our weapons and all of the tools that Christ came to empower us with. We've set them aside and let the enemy run havoc in our world. But when we understand true headship—unity, not hierarchy—everything changes.

Welcome to God's Kingdom, where the head and body are one, where power flows through love, not force, and where every relationship has the potential to reflect the very heart of God.

What has your experience been with traditional teachings on headship? Have you seen the division it can create, or have you experienced the unity God intended? I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Blessings,
Susan 😊