When God Says 'No' But We Keep Asking: The Balaam Trap

When God Says 'No' But We Keep Asking: The Balaam Trap 

You've been praying for three years about the same thing. You're certain it's God's will. The need feels desperate, urgent, bigger than life itself. So you keep asking. And asking. And asking. 

Then one day, you feel like God finally says yes. Relief floods through you. You move forward with confidence, knowing you heard from the Lord. 

But then everything falls apart. 

Sound familiar? Welcome to what I call "the Balaam trap"—one of the most dangerous pitfalls in hearing God's voice. 

The Prophet Who Got Permission and Nearly Died 

Remember Balaam from Numbers 22? He's the guy with the talking donkey, but there's a deeper story here that most of us miss. 

Balak, king of Moab, wanted to hire Balaam to curse Israel. Big money was involved—the kind that could set someone up for life. When Balaam asked God about it, the answer was clear: "No. Don't curse them. They're blessed." 

But Balaam didn't like that answer. When Balak sent even more money and honor, Balaam went back to God a second time. This time, God said, "Fine. Go with them." 

So Balaam got up early, excited about his payday. But then something strange happened—God was angry that he went. An angel stood ready to kill him, and only his donkey's supernatural intervention saved his life. 

Wait. Was God being schizophrenic? He said Balaam could go, then got mad when he did? 

God's not schizophrenic. What Balaam was hearing got distorted by what was in his heart. 

When Our Desires Become Idols 

Here's the truth that stops most of us cold: You never want to pray with an idol in your heart. 

An idol isn't just a golden statue. It's anything we value more than God, anything that captures our attention or affection more than He does. And when we pray about something that's become bigger in our hearts than God Himself, what we hear can get seriously distorted. 

Stage four cancer is not bigger than God. Bankruptcy is not bigger than God. That relationship you're desperate to save is not bigger than God. But when these things feel bigger than Him in our hearts, we start hearing what we want to hear instead of what He's actually saying. 

Balaam's idol was money—"the wages of unrighteousness," as Peter later called it. Even when God arrested him and saved his life, Balaam kept scheming for ways to get those wages. His desires had become so big that they distorted everything he heard from God. 

The Dangerous Gift of Free Will 

God honors our free will, even when it makes a mess. Sometimes He'll give us what we insist on having, knowing it's not His best for us. 

The Israelites learned this the hard way. They begged for meat in the wilderness because they were bored with manna—this miraculous, perfect food that rained from heaven daily. They whined so much that God brought them quail. Lots of quail. So much quail that a million and a half people could literally pluck birds out of the air. 

But it made them sick. Many died. 

God didn't want them to have the quail. But they kept pressing, and He honored their insistence. Their craving had become an idol, and they got what they demanded—along with consequences they never imagined. 

Guard Your Heart 

So how do we avoid the Balaam trap? 

First, check your heart before you pray. Are you upset about the situation? Is your desire so intense you can't let it go? Is the problem feeling bigger than God's ability to handle it? 

If so, stop. Ask God directly: "Do I have an idol in my heart?" He'll show you. Then ask Him what to do about it. He's full of wisdom and wants to help you remove that idol before you make a mess. 

Second, don't keep pressing God for something He's already said no to. Sometimes His "no" is protection. Sometimes it's redirection. Sometimes it's "not yet." But continuing to badger Him about it is dangerous territory. 

Third, remember that God's will isn't automatically being done on earth. We live in a broken world where free will creates real consequences. Just because something happens doesn't mean it was God's will. And just because you want something good doesn't mean the timing or method is right. 

The Heart Behind the Ask 

God cares more about your heart than your circumstances. He's not trying to withhold good things from you—He's trying to give you His best. But when our pain, fear, or desperation becomes louder than His voice, we can end up settling for second-rate solutions or even walking into disaster. 

The goal isn't to stop asking God for things. It's to ask with a clean heart, trusting that He's bigger than our problems and better than our solutions. 

Because when we pray with hearts aligned to His, we don't just get answers—we get His best answers. And that makes all the difference. 

This principle is one of several safeguards I cover in my "Honoring God's Voice" course, designed to help believers hear from God clearly while avoiding common pitfalls. When we learn to guard our hearts and trust His timing, prayer becomes partnership rather than pressure. 

Blessings, 
Susan Dewbrew