How to Know Which Kingdom You're Empowering

Whose voice are you listening to?

That's the question that determines everything.

Because here's the truth: there are two kingdoms operating in this world. God's Kingdom and the enemy's kingdom. Light and darkness. Love and control. Freedom and oppression.

And the voice you listen to determines which kingdom you're empowering.

The Two Kingdoms Look Different

God's Kingdom operates through love. It looks like Jesus washing the disciples' feet. It looks like the one with the most power laying it down to lift others up. It looks like freedom, mutuality, and honor.

The enemy's kingdom operates through power and control. It looks like hierarchy, domination, and manipulation. It looks like using Scripture to keep people trapped. It looks like demanding obedience and calling it submission.

The problem is, the enemy's kingdom is really good at using Christian language.

It quotes Bible verses. It invokes God's name. It comes from pastors and church leaders and people we trust.

So how do you know which kingdom you're in?

Listen to the voice.

The Voice of Holy Spirit

Holy Spirit's voice is loving, kind, empowering, and graceful.

It doesn't shame you. It doesn't condemn you. It doesn't make you feel small or worthless or trapped.

"There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus" (Romans 8:1, ESV).

When Holy Spirit convicts you of something, it's specific and clear—and it always leads to freedom, not bondage.

He might say, "You need to forgive that person." But He won't say, "You're a terrible Christian because you haven't forgiven them yet."

He might say, "It's time to set a boundary." But He won't say, "You're being selfish for wanting to protect yourself."

He might say, "You need to leave this situation." But He won't say, "You're a failure because your marriage didn't work out."

Holy Spirit's voice always points you toward freedom, toward wholeness, toward becoming more fully who God created you to be.

The Voice of the Enemy

The enemy's voice, on the other hand, is heavy, subversive, dark, and controlling.

It shames you. It condemns you. It makes you feel like you're never enough—never faithful enough, never submissive enough, never loving enough, never good enough.

It uses Scripture as a weapon.

"God hates divorce. You can't leave."

"Submit to your husband in everything. You have no right to say no."

"You need to respect him more. If you did, he wouldn't treat you this way."

"This is your cross to bear. If you're a real Christian, you'll endure it."

That's not Holy Spirit. That's the enemy using religious language to keep you trapped.

And here's the kicker: most of the people speaking those words to you genuinely believe they're speaking truth. They don't realize they're partnering with the enemy. They think they're being biblical.

But just because someone uses Bible verses doesn't mean they're speaking God's Kingdom truth.

Religion Perverts Truth

I keep hearing this phrase in my spirit: religion perverts.

Religion takes something that's true and twists it just slightly—just enough to make it a lie.

Take submission, for example.

The truth: "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ" (Ephesians 5:21, ESV). Mutual submission. Both people yielding to each other in love.

The perversion: "Wives, submit to your husbands in everything. His will trumps yours. He's the boss. You have to obey."

See how that works? It takes something beautiful—two people mutually honoring and yielding to each other—and twists it into a power structure where one person dominates and the other has to comply.

Or take "laying down your life."

The truth: Jesus laid down His life to set us free. He used His power to lift others up. He died to the flesh, to selfishness, to the need to be served.

The perversion: "You need to be a doormat for Jesus. You need to tolerate abuse. You need to sacrifice yourself for the sake of the institution."

It's the same words. But the meaning is completely different.

And that slight twist is all it takes to move from God's Kingdom into the enemy's kingdom.

I Have 99 Problems

Someone said this to me recently and it stuck: "I have 99 problems, but twisting Scripture isn't going to be one of them."

Amen to that.

We have enough problems in this world without adding twisted theology to the mix.

We don't need churches telling abuse victims to submit more.

We don't need pastors telling women their marriages failed because they didn't pray enough.

We don't need biblical counselors telling people that God requires them to stay in dangerous situations.

We need truth. Real truth. Kingdom truth.

The kind of truth that sets people free instead of keeping them trapped.

How to Discern the Voice

So how do you know which voice you're hearing?

Ask yourself these questions:

Does this voice make me feel condemned or convicted?

Conviction is specific and leads to freedom. Condemnation is vague and leads to shame.

Holy Spirit: "You need to address this specific sin."

Enemy: "You're a terrible person and God is disappointed in you."

Does this voice empower me or disempower me?

Holy Spirit empowers. He reminds you who you are—a beloved child of God, worthy of honor and respect.

The enemy disempowers. He makes you feel small, worthless, helpless.

Does this voice create freedom or bondage?

Holy Spirit always leads toward freedom. "Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom" (2 Corinthians 3:17, ESV).

The enemy always leads toward bondage. He wants you trapped, controlled, unable to escape.

Does this voice sound like Jesus?

Look at how Jesus treated people in the Gospels. Did He shame them? Did He demand they obey Him? Did He use His power to control them?

No. He invited. He healed. He set people free.

If the voice you're hearing doesn't sound like Jesus, it's not from Jesus.

The Test of Love vs. Power

Here's the ultimate test: Is this system based on love or power?

God's Kingdom is based on love. "God is love" (1 John 4:8, ESV). Everything in His Kingdom flows from love.

The enemy's kingdom is based on power. Control. Domination. Hierarchy.

When you see a marriage where the husband demands obedience because he's "the head," that's power.

When you see a church where leaders demand submission and questioning is not allowed, that's power.

When you see theology that keeps people trapped in abusive situations, that's power.

None of that is love.

Love-based relationships don't need power structures. They don't need hierarchy. They don't need one person dominating the other.

Love-based relationships are mutual. They're free. They're characterized by honor and respect and two people choosing each other every day.

That's Kingdom.

Even God in the Garden

Want to know how committed God is to freedom?

Look at the garden.

God put the tree of the knowledge of good and evil right there in the middle of the garden. He told Adam and Eve not to eat from it—but He didn't put a fence around it. He didn't put a moat around it. He didn't make it impossible for them to disobey.

He gave them the choice.

Even though He knew what would happen. Even though He knew they'd choose wrong. Even though it would bring death and sin and pain into the world.

He still gave them the choice.

Because freedom is that important to Him.

If God Himself—who is all-powerful, all-knowing, and perfectly good—refuses to control people, why are we building power structures in marriage and church that demand control?

That's not Kingdom. That's the enemy's counterfeit.

When Churches Empower the Wrong Kingdom

Here's what breaks my heart: most churches that are teaching toxic submission theology genuinely think they're being biblical.

They're not trying to harm people. They're not trying to empower abusers. They're not trying to keep women trapped.

They think they're teaching God's design for marriage.

But they're wrong.

And the fruit of their teaching proves it.

Jesus said, "You will recognize them by their fruits" (Matthew 7:16, ESV).

What's the fruit of "headship" theology?

Women trapped in abusive marriages.

Children being harmed because their mothers are told they can't leave.

Churches covering up abuse to protect the institution of marriage.

Victims being blamed for their own abuse.

That's not the fruit of God's Kingdom. That's the fruit of the enemy's kingdom.

Good theology produces freedom, healing, wholeness, and love.

Bad theology produces bondage, trauma, dysfunction, and abuse.

The Thing Inside You That Knows

Here's what I want you to trust: that thing inside you that doesn't feel right about power-based marriage theology—that's Holy Spirit.

You're not crazy.

You're not rebellious.

You're not being disrespectful or unsubmissive.

You're recognizing truth.

Deep down, you know that God's Kingdom doesn't look like one person dominating another. You know that Jesus never demonstrated that kind of power-over leadership. You know that love doesn't require hierarchy.

That knowing is Holy Spirit. And you can trust it.

Don't let anyone tell you you're wrong for questioning. Don't let anyone shame you for wanting something different. Don't let anyone convince you that God requires you to be in a power-based relationship.

That's not Kingdom. And your spirit knows it.

How to Move from the Wrong Kingdom to the Right One

If you're realizing that you've been partnering with the wrong kingdom—whether in your marriage, your church, or your theology—here's how you move toward Kingdom truth:

1. Listen to Holy Spirit above all other voices.

Not your pastor. Not your friends. Not your family. Not even me.

Holy Spirit. He's the one who will lead you into all truth.

2. Look at the fruit.

Is this theology producing freedom or bondage? Healing or harm? Love or control?

The fruit will tell you which kingdom you're in.

3. Study what Jesus actually taught and demonstrated.

Don't just take someone else's word for what the Bible says. Look at how Jesus treated people. Look at what He taught about power and authority and love.

That's your standard.

4. Surround yourself with people who speak Kingdom truth.

If your church is teaching toxic theology, find a church that doesn't. If your friends are telling you to submit more, find friends who will empower you. If your counselor is making you feel responsible for your abuser's choices, find a counselor who understands abuse.

You need people in your corner who speak truth.

5. Trust the process.

Moving from one kingdom to another isn't instant. It takes time to unlearn lies and embrace truth. It takes time to heal from the damage of toxic theology.

Be patient with yourself. Give yourself grace. And trust that Holy Spirit is leading you every step of the way.

The Kingdom of God Is Here

Here's the beautiful truth: the Kingdom of God is already here.

Not fully. Not completely. But it's here.

And every time we choose love over power, freedom over control, mutuality over hierarchy—we're releasing God's Kingdom into the world.

Every time a woman sets a boundary and protects herself from abuse, Kingdom is released.

Every time a man lays down his power to lift his wife up, Kingdom is released.

Every time a church tells an abuse victim, "We believe you. We'll walk with you. You have the right to be safe," Kingdom is released.

That's what we're fighting for. Not to tear down structures just to be rebellious. Not to disrupt systems just to cause chaos.

We're fighting to release God's Kingdom—the Kingdom of love, freedom, healing, and wholeness.

And that starts with knowing which voice you're listening to.

The Question That Determines Everything

So I'll ask you again: whose voice are you listening to?

Is it loving, kind, empowering, graceful? Does it point you toward freedom? Does it sound like Jesus?

Or is it heavy, subversive, dark, controlling? Does it keep you trapped? Does it use shame and condemnation?

The voice you listen to determines which kingdom you empower.

Choose wisely.

Because the stakes are higher than you think.

This isn't just about you. It's about your children. It's about the next generation. It's about whether we're going to keep perpetuating toxic theology or whether we're going to finally embrace the truth that sets us free.

Listen to Holy Spirit. Trust that knowing inside you. Follow the voice that sounds like Jesus.

That's how you empower God's Kingdom.

And that's how we change the world.

Blessings,
Susan 😊