Beyond Thoughts and Prayers: Faith That Actually Works
Last week, a friend called me about a difficult situation with her teenage daughter. After listening to her pour out her heart about sleepless nights, defiant behavior, and feeling completely overwhelmed, I found myself about to say those familiar words: "I'll pray for you."
And then I caught myself.
Don't get me wrong—prayer is powerful and necessary. But in that moment, I realized I was about to use prayer as a way to avoid the uncomfortable reality that my friend needed more than my prayers. She needed practical help, maybe a listening ear over coffee, or assistance finding resources for struggling families.
I was about to spiritually bypass.
The Comfortable Escape Route
Spiritual bypassing is our tendency to use spiritual ideas and practices to sidestep or avoid facing unresolved emotional issues, psychological wounds, and the messy realities of life. It's when we take something that's true—like the power of prayer or God's sovereignty—and twist it just enough to avoid dealing with what God actually wants us to face.
Sound familiar? The enemy has been pulling this trick since the Garden of Eden, taking truth and twisting it just enough to get us off track.
We do this more than we'd like to admit. We say things like:
"God works in mysterious ways" (when someone dies tragically and we don't want to sit in the pain)
"Everything happens for a reason" (when we're trying to make sense of senseless suffering)
"I'm blessed and highly favored" (while ignoring our empty bank account or broken relationships)
"All I need is Jesus" (while refusing to acknowledge our very real human needs)
Each of these statements contains truth. But when we use them to avoid dealing with difficult realities, we're choosing the spiritual bypass over the sometimes uncomfortable work of partnership with God.
The Problem with Positional vs. Conditional Truth
Here's something that might shake you up: there's a difference between positional truth and conditional truth.
My positional truth is that I have everything I need in Christ. By His stripes, I am healed. He has given me every spiritual blessing in heavenly places. This is all absolutely true.
But my conditional truth—my reality standing here today—might be that I'm dealing with illness, financial stress, or relationship problems. My conditional truth doesn't always match up with my positional truth yet.
And here's where we get into trouble: instead of acknowledging this gap and working with God to bridge it, we often just pretend the gap doesn't exist. We act like our positional truth is our only reality, bypassing the very areas where God wants to meet us and heal us.
It's like having a gunshot wound and going to a doctor who says, "Well, I'm going to pray for you and remind you that by Jesus' stripes you are healed!" Then he gives you a lollipop and sends you home without ever removing the bullet or cleaning the wound.
The bullet is still there. The infection will still set in. And eventually, that untreated wound could take you out.
The Partnership Principle
James 2:14-17 puts it bluntly: "What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if someone claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save them? Suppose a brother or a sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to them, 'Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,' but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it? In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead" (NIV).
Faith without works is dead. It's a partnership between the spiritual and the natural.
I learned this lesson years ago when a friend kept calling to borrow coolers because their refrigerator kept breaking down. They were financially strapped, choosing to invest in their children over material comforts, but they couldn't afford a new refrigerator—only repairs.
The last time she called, I felt Holy Spirit prompt me to say, "You don't need coolers. You need a refrigerator."
I could have just said, "I'm praying God brings you a refrigerator. Be blessed, be filled, be warmed." What good would that have been? She needed an actual refrigerator. And you know what? We made it happen. Not through magic, but through the body of Christ functioning as the hands and feet of Jesus.
That's the partnership principle: God works through us, with us, not just for us.
When Spirituality Becomes Avoidance
Here's what spiritual bypassing actually looks like in real life:
Avoiding difficult emotions: "Christians shouldn't be angry" (even when anger is a healthy response to injustice).
Dismissing the need for help: "I just need more faith" (instead of seeking counseling, medical care, or practical assistance).
Refusing to address relationship problems: "We'll just pray about it" (while avoiding the difficult conversations that could bring healing).
Ignoring systemic issues: "We need to focus on people's hearts, not politics" (while injustice continues unchecked).
Bypassing grief: "She's in a better place now" (without allowing space for the very real pain of loss).
Each of these responses takes a spiritual truth and uses it to avoid the messy, uncomfortable work of actually dealing with reality. But here's the thing: God created both the spiritual and natural realms. He doesn't want us to choose one over the other—He wants us to live in both.
The Courage to Face Truth
Jesus said, "You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free" (John 8:32, NIV). Notice He didn't say, "The truth you're comfortable with will set you free" or "The spiritual-sounding answers will set you free."
The truth. Even when it's uncomfortable. Even when it requires us to acknowledge our wounds, seek help, take action, or sit in pain for a while.
It takes courage to admit:
I'm struggling with depression and need help
My marriage is in trouble and we need counseling
I'm angry at God about what happened
I don't have all the answers
I need community, not just prayer
This situation really is unjust and wrong
But it's only the truth that sets us free. Not the bypass. Not the spiritual-sounding escape routes. The truth.
Moving from Bypass to Partnership
So how do we move from spiritual bypassing to authentic partnership with God?
First, get honest about your condition. Stop pretending everything is fine when it's not. God already knows anyway. Your honesty doesn't shock Him—it positions you to receive His help.
Second, ask for wisdom about next steps. Yes, pray. But also ask God to show you what practical steps He wants you to take. Maybe that's making a phone call, setting a boundary, or seeking professional help.
Third, embrace both/and thinking. You can trust God AND take your medication. You can have faith AND go to therapy. You can believe in God's provision AND look for a job. It's not either/or—it's both/and.
Fourth, stop avoiding uncomfortable emotions. God created the full range of human emotions, including the difficult ones. They're information, not sin. Feel them, process them, and let them guide you toward action when appropriate.
Finally, remember that healing often happens in community. Stop trying to figure everything out alone. Let the body of Christ function as it was designed—with each part supporting the others.
The Refrigerator Challenge
Here's my challenge for you: Look at your life and identify one area where you might be spiritually bypassing. Maybe it's:
A relationship that needs attention
A health issue you've been "praying about" but not addressing
An emotional wound you've been covering with spiritual platitudes
A practical need you've been hoping God will magically fix
Now ask yourself: What would faithful partnership with God look like in this situation? What would it mean to trust Him AND take appropriate action?
Your friend might not need your prayers as much as they need your refrigerator. Your marriage might not need more Bible studies as much as it needs honest conversation. Your depression might not need more worship music as much as it needs professional help alongside your faith community.
The truth will set you free. But first, you have to be willing to face it.
Stop bypassing. Start partnering. God's waiting to meet you there.
Blessings,
Susan 😊