Submit to One Another: The Grammar That Changes Everything

Have you ever noticed how a single section break can completely change how we read Scripture? I'm about to show you something that will revolutionize how you understand one of the most debated passages in the Bible—and it all comes down to where translators chose to put their paragraph breaks.

The Foundation Everyone Ignores

Let's start with what should be the most famous verse about marriage in all of Scripture: "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ" (Ephesians 5:21, NIV).

This isn't a suggestion. It's not a nice idea. It's the foundational principle that everything else is built on. But somehow, we've been taught to skip right over this verse and jump to verse 22: "Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord" (NIV).

Here's what most people don't know: In the original Greek manuscript, there's no new subject and verb in verse 22. Grammatically, it's part of the same sentence that began in verse 21. Paul is famous for his long, run-on sentences—especially in Ephesians—and this is one of them.

The Section Break That Changed History

But here's where it gets interesting (and frustrating): The translators put a section break between verses 21 and 22, as if Paul suddenly changed topics. This makes it appear that mutual submission (verse 21) is just a nice introduction, and then we get to the "real" teaching about hierarchical marriage relationships.

This is not just bias—it's a bias alert of the highest order. Three out of the four times Scripture talks about wives being subject to husbands, the translators inserted section breaks. In Ephesians 5, the section break actually comes in the middle of a sentence!

You can't tell me that's not intentional. When it's repeated over and over again, they really did want you to think it's a new topic when it's actually all the same teaching.

What Paul Actually Said

Let me show you what Paul's teaching actually looks like when we follow his grammar instead of modern section breaks:

"Be filled with the Spirit, speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord, giving thanks always for all things to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, submitting to one another in the fear of God. Wives, to your own husbands as to the Lord..." (Ephesians 5:18-22, NKJV).

It's all one flowing thought! Paul is describing what it looks like to be filled with the Spirit:

• We speak to one another in spiritual songs

• We make melody in our hearts

• We give thanks always

• We submit to one another

• And here's how that plays out in marriage...

The Context Changes Everything

This completely changes how we understand the passage. Paul isn't establishing a hierarchy in marriage. He's showing how mutual submission—the foundation he laid in verse 21—actually works in the context of first-century marriage relationships.

Notice what comes right before verse 21: "Don't get drunk with wine, but be filled with the Spirit" (Ephesians 5:18, paraphrased). Paul is talking about flowing together, moving in sync with one another. He's talking about a perichoretic flow—that beautiful dance of the Trinity where each person honors and serves the others.

In our 21st-century, left-brain, analytical Christianity, we would never say that roles for husband and wife have anything to do with "singing to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs." But Paul understood it was all about that divine flow, that moving in sync with one another.

The Mystery Paul Explains

Paul himself tells us what he's really talking about: "This mystery is great; but I am speaking about Christ and the church" (Ephesians 5:32, NASB). The whole point is unity! When we lay our lives down for one another, we can become one as Christ and the church are one.

How is the church subject to Christ? How does Christ being the head affect the church? Does Christ demand His own way? Does He control and manipulate? Does He use His power to dominate?

No! He laid down His life. That's why Paul goes on to say that husbands should love their wives "as their own bodies" (Ephesians 5:28, NASB). When you're truly one with your spouse, you're going to be as interested in them being whole and thriving as you would be for yourself.

They're not there to serve you—you're there to serve them. And if they have the same attitude and serve you in return, it becomes this beautiful reciprocal dance.

The Grammar in Other Passages

This same pattern appears in other passages. In Colossians 3, the context is unity, letting "the word of Christ richly dwell within you" (Colossians 3:16, NASB), teaching and admonishing one another with thanksgiving. Then—surprise!—another section break before "Wives, be subject to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord" (Colossians 3:18, NASB).

In 1 Peter 3, there's actually a chapter break! But Peter begins with "In the same way, you wives..." (1 Peter 3:1, NASB). In the same way as what? The same way as the context he was just discussing—believers choosing to honor corrupt authorities while operating from Kingdom principles.

The Translation Issue

Even the word for "submit" is different in these marriage passages. In Ephesians 5:21, where Paul says to submit to one another, it's "hypotasso"—a military term meaning to arrange under or yield. But when children are told to "obey" their parents, it's a different word entirely.

Paul deliberately chose a word that doesn't mean blind obedience. It means voluntary yielding, arranging yourself under someone else's welfare—the same thing he calls everyone to do for each other.

What This Means for Us

When we understand that mutual submission is the foundation, not hierarchy, everything changes:

• Marriage becomes a dance of mutual honor rather than a chain of command

• Both spouses are free to lead and follow as situations require

• Decision-making becomes about seeking wisdom together rather than one person having "final authority"

• Submission becomes voluntary and powerful rather than forced and powerless

The Revolution Hidden in Plain Sight

Here's the revolutionary truth that's been hiding in plain sight all along: "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ" isn't just the introduction to Paul's marriage teaching—it's the foundation of everything that follows.

When we build our marriages on mutual submission rather than hierarchical authority, we don't get chaos. We get something beautiful: relationships that actually reflect the nature of God, who exists in perfect unity as Father, Son, and Holy Spirit—each honoring the others, each serving the others, each powerful yet yielding in love.

That's the grammar of God's Kingdom. That's the sentence structure of love. And that's the truth that transforms everything when we stop letting human section breaks interrupt God's flow.

The foundation has been there all along. We just needed to see it.

Blessings,
Susan 😊