From Slave to King: Why Your 'Yes' Must Be Voluntary
I want to share something with you that completely transformed how I understand submission, authority, and what it really means to operate in God's Kingdom. It's a truth so simple yet so revolutionary that it changes everything: Without the right to say no, your yes doesn't really carry any weight.
The Power of Choice
Think about it this way: If I choose to submit to Gregory because I feel like that's what the church is telling me to do, and I have no choice—I believe I'm secondary by God's design and I actually have to go through the act of yielding my voice and my will whenever there's any disagreement—I can go through all those motions and never actually release the power of the gospel into our relationship.
Why? Because I'm operating as a slave, not as a king. And here's the key: A slave can't release God's Kingdom, but a king can.
The Example of Jesus
Both Paul and Jesus demonstrated this principle perfectly. When Paul was dealing with Philemon about Onesimus, he said essentially, "I know who I am. I could pull my apostolic card on you, but I choose not to. I'm yielding to you voluntarily."
Jesus did the same thing with Pilate. He said, "You actually have no power over me except what my Father gave you" (John 19:11, paraphrased). But then He chose to submit to crucifixion. He flashed His authority just enough to make it clear: "I know who I am. I could call 10,000 angels and my Father would deliver me from all of you right now. But I choose to yield."
In both cases, they submitted from a place of strength, not weakness. From choice, not obligation.
The Difference Between Obligation and Love
Here's what I've learned: You can go through the right motions and not release God's Kingdom. If I choose to submit because I feel like I have no choice, because I'm told that's what God requires, I'm not operating in love—I'm operating in obligation.
But love never seeks its own. Love does not demand its own way. Love is never proud or boastful. When someone tells wives, "You need to let your man have his own way because there's a pyramid structure by God's design in your home, and if you don't yield and let him always have his way, you're not being a godly wife"—that's not love. That's control.
Love doesn't have to be forced. The minute you make submission a "have to," the minute the church tells wives they have to submit to their husbands meaning they have to yield their will to them, you have violated the nature of love. And that's why it doesn't work.
Operating From Kingdom Identity
We are all called to be kings and queens in God's Kingdom. He's the Lord of Lords and the King of Kings, and we're all part of a royal priesthood. We're all royal priests.
When I know who I really am—that I am royalty in God's Kingdom, that I am powerful, that I actually have a voice—and out of that place of strength I choose to yield, now I can release God's Kingdom. Now transformation can happen.
As a king, I may temporarily serve as a slave. But when I'm doing it, I'm still serving as a king. And so I'm releasing the Kingdom through my service.
The Context of the First Century
We have to remember that Paul wasn't writing to the 21st century. In his culture, women were literally domestic slaves. They had no voice, no opportunity to earn their own wages and keep them, no say in society. They couldn't even make their own decisions about basic life matters.
In that context, Paul was teaching these women how to rise up out of obligation (where they had no choice) and enter into the realm of operating in their own power with their own free will. He was showing them how to transform their circumstances from the inside out, not through rebellion, but through the power of voluntary love.
The Revolution From Within
That's how God's Kingdom always comes—as leaven from the inside out, not as revolution from the outside. Paul was showing believers how to infiltrate corrupt institutions with love, knowing that love always wins in the end.
When someone operates from slavery—from "I have to"—they create resentment, manipulation, and hypocrisy. But when someone operates from royalty—from "I choose to"—they release transformation.
The Heart Check
Here's the heart check we all need: Am I yielding because I have to, or because I choose to? Am I submitting out of fear of consequences, or out of love and strength?
If Gregory ever tried to force me to submit, if he ever pulled the "I'm the man and what I say goes" card, if he ever used his physical presence or financial position to intimidate me into compliance, he wouldn't be getting submission at all. He'd be getting the compliance of a slave, which has no power to transform anything.
But when I choose to yield from a place of knowing who I am, when I serve from strength rather than weakness, when my "yes" is truly voluntary—that releases God's Kingdom into our relationship and into every situation we face.
The Voluntary Nature of Kingdom Power
This is why Jesus could say His followers wouldn't fight for Him. In the worldly system, power is taken and maintained by force. But in God's Kingdom, power is released through voluntary surrender, through choosing to lay down your life for others.
This voluntary nature is what makes Kingdom submission so powerful. It's not the surrender of the powerless—it's the gift of the powerful. It's not the compliance of the defeated—it's the choice of the victorious.
Breaking the Slave Mentality
Too many believers—especially women—have been taught to think like slaves instead of royalty. They've been told that submission means giving up their voice, their will, their right to disagree or contribute wisdom. But that's not biblical submission—that's spiritual slavery.
God didn't create us to be slaves in our relationships. He created us to be partners, co-heirs, fellow workers in His Kingdom. When we understand our true identity as sons and daughters of the King, everything changes.
The Fruit of True Submission
When both people in a relationship understand that they are choosing to serve each other from strength rather than obligation, beautiful things happen:
Trust increases because neither person feels trapped
Respect grows because both people honor each other's choice to stay and serve
Love deepens because it's being freely given, not demanded
Wisdom flows because both people feel safe to contribute their perspective
God's Kingdom is released because both are operating from their true identity as royalty
Living From Royal Identity
This is what it means to live from our identity as kings and queens in God's Kingdom. We don't have to fight for power because we already have it. We don't have to demand our rights because we're secure in who we are. We can choose to serve, to yield, to submit—not because we have to, but because we choose to.
And when we make that choice from strength rather than weakness, from love rather than obligation, from royal identity rather than slave mentality, we release something powerful into the world: the very Kingdom of God operating through voluntary love.
That's the revolution Jesus started. That's the transformation Paul was teaching. And that's the freedom that turns slaves into kings and makes submission a powerful choice rather than a powerless requirement.
Remember: Without a no, your yes means nothing. But when your yes comes from the heart of a king or queen who chooses to serve, it carries the power to change everything.
Blessings,
Susan 😊