Vulnerability Is the Point

Male anatomy reveals a profound truth: our weakest point is also our point of greatest strength.

Every man knows what it feels like to be kicked where it hurts—that nauseating, immobilizing pain that engulfs your entire body. It’s horrifying. It’s a weakness men learn early to protect.

Yet that same place—that point of extreme vulnerability—is where life originates. It’s where a man pours forth his very life force to create another human being.

You can’t separate the two. The weakness and the strength exist in the same place. The vulnerability and the power are inseparable.

And there’s something deeply theological about that.

The Price of True Intimacy

Think about what it requires for a man to truly love his wife, to truly give himself to her, to truly originate life with her. He has to be vulnerable. He has to open himself to potential pain. He has to trust her with his weakest point.

This isn’t just physically true—it’s emotionally and spiritually true as well.

To truly love someone, you have to give them the power to hurt you. You have to open your heart—your weakest, most tender place—and trust them not to destroy it.

That’s terrifying. Especially for men who’ve been hurt before. Especially for men who grew up with dominating mothers or manipulative relationships. Especially for men who learned early that vulnerability equals weakness and weakness gets exploited.

But here’s what I want you to hear: there is no way to truly love, no way to truly be one, no way to truly initiate life-giving relationship without vulnerability.

Vulnerability isn’t a weakness to overcome. It’s the very point. It’s where real strength comes from.

Why Men Struggle with Submission

Many men fear mutual submission because it requires vulnerability. When you mutually submit, you give up control. You can’t protect yourself anymore. You’re open, exposed, at risk.

For men who’ve been hurt by authority figures, by controlling women, by people who used vulnerability against them, this feels dangerous. It feels like weakness. It feels like giving someone else the power to destroy you.

And let’s be honest—it is risky. Vulnerability requires risk. It requires uncertainty. Just because you’re willing to initiate and lay your life down doesn’t guarantee the other person will do the same.

It takes two whole people to make mutual submission work. Two healed people. Two people willing to be vulnerable. Two people willing to trust.

But here’s the truth that can set you free: there is no act of greatness without vulnerability. There is no courage without risk. There is no true love without the possibility of pain.

What Renée Brown Taught Us

Renée Brown has become famous for her research on vulnerability, and she’s discovered something that echoes what Scripture has always said: vulnerability is not weakness. It’s courage. It’s strength. It’s the birthplace of everything meaningful in life.

To be brave requires vulnerability.

To be courageous requires vulnerability.

To truly love requires vulnerability.

To produce the Kingdom—to actually partner with the Lord in bringing His reality to earth—requires vulnerability.

Because God Himself was vulnerable.

The Ultimate Vulnerability

Look at what Jesus did. Philippians 2:6-8 says, “Though he was in the form of God, [he] did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross” (ESV).

Jesus laid down His divine prerogatives. He gave up the protection of heaven. He was born in a barn—you can’t get much lower than that in human stature. He walked among us, fully human, fully vulnerable to hunger, pain, betrayal, and death.

And then He submitted Himself to death on a cross—the most humiliating, excruciating, vulnerable death imaginable.

That was the most courageous thing He ever did.

And here’s what’s stunning: He had no guarantee it would work.

God, in His sovereignty, wills that all people be saved (1 Timothy 2:4, ESV). That’s His honest will, His deep desire. But He’s not going to force it. He won’t violate our freedom. He won’t coerce us into love.

So when Jesus went to the cross, He took the ultimate risk. He made Himself utterly vulnerable—not knowing for certain who would respond, who would believe, who would choose Him.

But He knew it was worth the risk.

God is smart. He knows that in the end, love wins. He knows that vulnerability, not control, is what changes hearts. He knows that the cross—that ultimate act of self-giving, vulnerable love—is more powerful than any amount of coercion could ever be.

A Word to Men Who Fear

I want to speak directly to men who are afraid. Men who have been hurt. Men who learned that vulnerability gets punished, that weakness gets exploited, that opening your heart means giving someone the power to crush it.

I want to speak peace and life over you.

In the name of Jesus, you are free to be vulnerable.

The Lord will guide you. He will protect you. Yes, you may get hurt along the way—vulnerability doesn’t come with a guarantee of painlessness. But it does come with a promise: it’s worth it.

You want to live in that freedom. You want to experience what it’s like to truly love and be truly loved. You want to know the joy of real intimacy, real oneness, real partnership.

And you can’t get there by staying protected. You can’t get there by maintaining control. You can’t get there by keeping your guard up.

You can only get there through vulnerability.

The Risk Worth Taking

Being head doesn’t mean being invulnerable. It means being willing to be vulnerable first.

It means saying, “I’m going to open my heart to you. I’m going to trust you with my weakest places. I’m going to give you the power to hurt me—and I’m choosing to believe you won’t.”

That’s what Jesus did. That’s what it means to love like Christ loved the church. That’s what initiating submission looks like.

And yes, it’s risky. Yes, you might get hurt. Yes, vulnerability requires courage.

But it’s the only way to truly love. It’s the only way to truly live. It’s the only way to experience the divine dance of oneness that God created marriage to be.

The New Order

There is a completely new order, a new way of being human, a new way of doing family, a new way of doing church, a new way of doing life.

In this new order, strength is found in weakness. Power is found in surrender. Life is found in death. Victory is found in vulnerability.

This is the upside-down Kingdom. This is what Jesus modeled and what He calls us into.

And it starts with men who are willing to be vulnerable—men who will use their strength to serve, their power to lift others up, their position as “head” to initiate the beautiful, risky, counter-cultural dance of mutual submission.

Brothers, I release this over you in the name of Jesus: you are free to be vulnerable. You are called to risk. You are empowered by Holy Spirit to love with the same self-giving, cross-bearing, vulnerable love that Christ showed us.

Walk in that grace.

Take that risk.

Be vulnerable.

Because that’s where the Kingdom comes.

That’s where the divine dance begins.

That’s where two become one.

And that’s worth everything.

Blessings,
Susan 😊