When God Said 'It's Me': Discovering the True Helper

I can still picture that prayer room—my study where I spent countless hours during one of the most transformative seasons of my life. If you could have seen it then, you would have thought a tornado had hit. Books and lexicons scattered everywhere, papers covering every surface, Hebrew word studies spread across my desk like pieces of a puzzle I was desperately trying to solve.

I was deep into a research project for a course called "God's Release of Women" through Christian Leadership University, and I had chosen to focus on one Hebrew word that had been troubling me for years: Ezer—the word translated as "helper" in Genesis when describing woman's creation.

You see, I'd been steeped in complementarian teaching my entire Christian life. The idea that she was "the helper" and "he was the boss" was so deeply ingrained in my thinking that I couldn't imagine any other interpretation. But as I studied Scripture more deeply, particularly how Jesus demonstrated mutual submission and how Paul taught it, nothing seemed to fit with this hierarchical view of the original creation.

The Search That Changed Everything

The biblical egalitarians kept pointing out something that challenged everything I'd been taught: this Hebrew word Ezer was always used in reference to someone of superior status bringing help. They weren't trying to say women were superior—not at all. But they were saying that the word itself called into question the complementarian interpretation that positioned women as secondary by design.

I had to see this for myself.

Using resources that helped me track Hebrew words throughout the Old Testament, I discovered there were 19 cases where this word Ezer appears outside of the two instances in the Genesis creation account. I was determined to examine each one, asking the Lord to show me the truth.

As I worked through them, reading different translations, cross-referencing commentaries, something became startlingly clear: 16 of those 19 instances referred to the Lord—and the Lord alone—as the helper. Not just any kind of help, but divine, supernatural help that no human being could provide.

The other three instances actually clinched it. In one case, Ezer help is withdrawn in a time of judgment. In another, Ezer is withheld during testing and purification. In the third, the most powerful people on earth tried to bring this kind of help, and God rebuked them for not asking Him first—because nobody can bring this kind of divine assistance.

The Moment Heaven Broke Through

I remember sitting in that cluttered study, feeling completely stumped. The evidence was clear, but I couldn't make sense of what it meant for understanding woman's identity. I was still trapped in the mindset that defined people by their roles rather than their relationships.

In that moment of confusion, I heard something that changed everything.

Clear as a bell, I heard: "It's me."

This wasn't a gentle sunset moment or a soft whisper. My entire being came to attention as if the Commander had walked into the room. Every cell in my body recognized the authority and presence of the Almighty.

"It's me," He said.

I was confused at first. "What's You, Lord? I don't even know what we're talking about." My mind wasn't focused on the helper concept at that moment—I was trying to figure out woman's role, still trapped in performance-oriented thinking that religion had taught me.

But as I went back through those verses with fresh eyes, the revelation became crystal clear. In 16 out of 19 instances, the helper is God Himself. The other three instances confirm that this kind of help—Ezer—is uniquely divine. It can only come from Him.

Breaking Free from Role-Based Thinking

What took me so long to understand was that I was asking the wrong question entirely. I kept trying to figure out what woman was supposed to do, when God was revealing who He is in the creation design.

You see, the problem in the garden wasn't a staffing issue. Adam didn't need help tending the garden—there was no work by the sweat of the brow yet. He had already finished naming the animals before woman was drawn from his side. The only thing that was "not good" was that he was alone.

Woman couldn't solve that problem on her own initiative. Only God could bring the solution. And He did—by making "for help a mirror image of him" (Esh lo ezer kenigdo). The help wasn't woman herself—the help was God's divine intervention in creating the union, the completion, the wholeness that comes when two become one.

The Helper We've Always Needed

This revelation completely transformed my understanding of relationships, marriage, and identity itself. We're not defined by hierarchical roles or performance-based functions. We're called into relationship—with God first, then with each other.

When we read in the New Testament that Holy Spirit is our Helper (John 14:16, ESV), it's not hard for us to accept that God can be a helper. He didn't change who He was between the Old and New Testaments. He was the Helper then, and He's the Helper now.

The beautiful truth is that in the creation of marriage, Holy Spirit was part of the design from the beginning. The union itself required divine help—and it still does. Any relationship that tries to function without God at the center will eventually collapse under the weight of our human selfishness and need for control.

Freedom from Performance

This discovery freed me from the exhausting cycle of trying to figure out my "role" and perform it correctly. Instead of asking "What am I supposed to do as a woman?" I began asking "Who is God calling me to be in relationship with Him and others?"

That shift changes everything. Instead of rigid gender roles that box people in, we discover fluid partnership based on gifts, seasons, and God's calling on our lives. Instead of hierarchy that creates power struggles, we find mutual submission that creates space for both people to flourish.

The God who said "It's me" is the same God who invites us into the dance of divine relationship—where love flows not through control but through surrender, not through dominance but through service, not through performance but through authentic connection.

He is our Helper. He always has been. And when we build our relationships on that foundation, everything else finds its proper place.

What roles or performances have you been trying to perfect instead of simply resting in relationship with the One who is truly our Help?

Blessings,
Susan 😊