When Success Masks Inner Torment

Have you ever looked successful on the outside while being tormented on the inside? I had a conversation with my friend Robia Scott that brought this reality into sharp focus. Here's a woman who danced for Prince, appeared on Beverly Hills 90210 and Buffy the Vampire Slayer, traveled the world performing in front of 60,000 people at a time—living what most would call "the dream."

But while she was on stage portraying confidence and power, she was dying inside.

Robia described it this way: "I was uncomfortable in my skin, self-conscious, no peace, a little anxious, chain smoker... tormented about what I was going to eat, what I wasn't going to eat, constantly dieting and starving and then binging and purging."

You would never have known it by looking at her. She was thin, fit, successful. Her outer appearance didn't reflect what was going on internally. But she was in bondage—particularly to her relationship with food and body image, though that manifested in other areas too.

The Deception of External Achievement

What struck me most about Robia's story is how her external success actually masked her internal torment. She had achieved everything she'd worked for since she was that little girl who saw Flashdance and got a big perm and leg warmers the next day. She'd gone professional at 16, traveled the world, made it to the pinnacle of her profession.

She was living the dream. But it was a nightmare.

"Here I am, you know, I had a successful dance career, was now having a successful acting career, on stage, on screen, portraying this image of confidence, you know, power, just on top of the world," she said. "But I did not know God, was not walking with God, and was tormented."

The image she was portraying was different than where she was on the inside.

And here's the thing: you don't have to be famous to relate to this experience.

The Universal Struggle with Counterfeit Comforts

While most of us haven't danced for Prince or appeared on television, I bet we can all relate to what it feels like to be tormented. We know what it's like to have a gap between who we appear to be and who we really are. We understand the exhaustion of maintaining an image while dying inside.

And we definitely know about counterfeit comforts—those things we turn to for relief that actually bind us.

For Robia, it was cigarettes and food. She described her cigarettes as "my dear friend." A love-hate relationship if there ever was one. Even years later, free from that bondage, she could still remember: "I loved my cigarettes. They were like my dear friend, you know."

It's such bondage. The biggest love-hate relationship of all time.

For you, maybe it's not cigarettes or food. Maybe it's shopping, scrolling social media, binge-watching shows, wine in the evening, perfectionism, people-pleasing, busyness, or constantly seeking the next achievement. Maybe it's the approval of others or the pursuit of success itself.

We all have areas where we're seeking comfort, relief, peace—but finding bondage instead.

Women and the Battle with Body Image

Robia made an observation that particularly resonated with me: "I have found over the years that we women get really hit in this area of food and body image."

Being a dancer and actress just exacerbated the issue. But she's right—this is a battle that hits women especially hard, regardless of whether we're in the entertainment industry.

We live in a culture that constantly tells us we're not enough. Not thin enough, not fit enough, not young enough, not beautiful enough. We're bombarded with images of perfection that have been filtered, photoshopped, and curated to look effortless.

And so we diet and starve and binge and purge—sometimes literally, sometimes metaphorically. We develop these complicated, tortured relationships with our own bodies, with food, with our appearance.

We chain ourselves to counterfeit comforts that promise to make us feel better but actually make everything worse.

The Gap Between Appearance and Reality

What makes this bondage so insidious is how good we become at hiding it.

Robia looked successful. Thin. Fit. Confident. On top of the world.

No one would have guessed she was tormented.

We become experts at performing—at showing the world what we think they want to see while the real us is locked away, struggling, hurting, bound.

We smile when we're dying inside. We post the highlight reel on social media while our real life is falling apart. We show up at church looking put together while we're coming undone.

And here's the tragic part: we think this is what we're supposed to do. We think the goal is to look successful, to appear to have it all together, to maintain the image at all costs.

But that's not God's Kingdom way.

Believing in God vs. Knowing God

Here's what Robia said that really got me: "I believed in God but I wasn't a believer. I was no Christian. So I had, you know, faith. I had a spiritual life and I did sense that, you know, if I could connect with God in a real way that it should be able to affect some of these areas in my life, right? I should have some peace."

She believed in God. She had faith. She even had a spiritual life.

But she wasn't a Christian. She didn't have a relationship with Him.

And that made all the difference.

You see, knowing about God and knowing God are two entirely different things. Having a spiritual life and having a relationship with Holy Spirit are worlds apart.

When we truly connect with God—when we move from religion to relationship, from believing in Him to knowing Him—it affects every area of our lives. We should have peace. We should experience freedom. The torment should lift.

If it's not, we might be operating in religion rather than relationship.

The Kingdom Truth About Success

In God's Kingdom, success isn't measured by achievement, appearance, or applause. It's measured by authenticity, freedom, and the fruit of Holy Spirit in our lives.

Jesus said, "My kingdom is not of this world" (John 18:36, NKJV). He wasn't just talking about geography—He was introducing an entirely different value system.

In the world's kingdom, image is everything. Success is defined by external markers. The goal is to look good, achieve more, rise above others.

But in God's Kingdom, authenticity trumps appearance every time. Freedom matters more than performance. Being real is more valuable than looking perfect.

God sees past our carefully crafted images to the torment we're hiding. And He doesn't want us to maintain the facade—He wants to set us free.

As Robia discovered, true transformation comes from authentic connection with God, not just from performing spiritual disciplines or maintaining a spiritual image.

An Invitation to Authenticity

So here's my question for you: What counterfeit comforts are you turning to? What inner torment are you masking with external performance?

Maybe you've achieved success by the world's standards but you're still not at peace. Maybe you look put together on the outside but you're dying on the inside. Maybe you believe in God but you don't really know Him.

It's time to stop performing and start being real.

God isn't impressed by your image. He's not fooled by your facade. And He's not interested in you maintaining appearances.

He wants to set you free.

That starts with honesty—with yourself, with God, and with safe people who can walk with you toward healing.

What would it look like to trade the exhausting work of looking perfect for the freedom of being authentic? What would change if you moved from believing in God to actually knowing Him?

The counterfeit comforts you're clinging to can't give you what they promise. But God can. He's the only one who can fill the void, quiet the torment, and bring you into genuine peace.

You don't have to keep performing. You can stop dancing for an audience and start walking with the One who already knows everything—and loves you anyway.

That's where real success begins.

Blessings,
Susan 😊