Why Our Granddaughter Will Never Have to Choose Between Being Strong and Being Godly

Breaking generational cycles and raising the next generation in Kingdom truth.

We're currently raising our granddaughter again. We had her from age 1 to 8, and now again at 14 for the past year. Watching Gregory with her—both as a toddler and now as a teenager—has shown me something beautiful about what the next generation could look like when raised in homes that practice mutual submission.

But more than that, I'm convinced that our granddaughter will never have to choose between being strong and being godly, between using her gifts and being feminine, between leading and following Jesus. And that gives me so much hope for the future.

What She's Learning from Gregory

From the time she was tiny, our granddaughter has watched a man who embodies true Kingdom masculinity. As I share in BLIND SPOT:

"I can tell you that Gregory didn't just step up when raising a little child got easier. Nope. He was just as involved in the bottle-feeding and diaper-changing phases as he is now with a teen. It's always partnership with him."

She's never seen Gregory use his physical size or male authority to intimidate or control. Instead, she's watched him use his strength to protect, serve, and empower. She's seen him change diapers, fix her meals, help with homework, and listen to her heart with the same attentiveness he shows me.

Most importantly, she's watched him honor and celebrate my gifts, my ministry, my success in business—even when that success challenges traditional gender roles. She's growing up in a home where a woman's voice matters just as much as a man's voice.

What She's Learning from Our Marriage

Our granddaughter is witnessing something most children never see: a marriage built on mutual honor rather than hierarchy. She sees decisions being made through prayer and conversation, not male authority. She sees both Gregory and me leading in different areas based on our gifts, not our gender.

When we were considering moving to a new home, she watched us pray together, discuss our priorities, and remain open to God's guidance through each other. She didn't see Gregory making the final decision because he's "the man"—she saw two people seeking God's wisdom together.

For smaller matters, she sees us defer to each other's strengths. I handle the numbers and contracts; Gregory handles the tech issues. She's learning that roles in relationships are about gifts and partnership, not arbitrary gender assignments.

Breaking the Cycle

The most beautiful part of raising our granddaughter in this environment is knowing we're breaking generational cycles of dysfunction. She'll never wonder if her voice matters less because she's female. She'll never question whether she can use her gifts fully and still be godly. She'll never have to choose between being strong and being feminine.

Gregory and I both came from backgrounds where traditional gender roles created pain and limitation. My first marriage was built on hierarchical principles that left me walking on eggshells for twenty years. Gregory watched his mother navigate single parenthood with strength and grace, learning early that women are just as capable as men.

But our granddaughter? She's being raised in the Kingdom model from day one.

What Strong and Godly Looks Like

In our home, our granddaughter is learning that being godly doesn't mean being passive or small. She's watching me run a successful real estate business while also writing books that challenge traditional church teaching. She sees Gregory leading a massive food ministry while also doing dishes and braiding her hair.

She's learning that true strength serves love, not self. She's seeing that real leadership lifts others up rather than keeping them down. She's discovering that the most Christ-like people are those who use their power to empower others.

Most importantly, she's experiencing firsthand that mutual submission creates safety, not chaos. In a world where many children live with the tension of power struggles between parents, she's growing up in a home where both adults are committed to honoring each other.

The Questions She'll Never Have to Ask

There are questions that plagued my generation—and still plague many young women today—that our granddaughter will never have to wrestle with:

• "Can I be a leader and still be godly?"

• "Is my intelligence threatening to men?"

• "Do I have to choose between following Jesus and using my gifts?"

• "Will God be disappointed if I'm not passive and submissive?"

• "Does being feminine mean being weak?"

These questions arise from a false dichotomy that has wounded countless women. Our granddaughter is growing up knowing that strength and godliness go hand in hand, that intelligence is a gift from God to be used fully, that leadership can be an expression of Christlikeness.

What She's Learning About Men

Perhaps most importantly, our granddaughter is learning that godly men aren't threatened by strong women—they celebrate them. She's watching Gregory champion my ministry, support my business success, and encourage me to be everything God created me to be.

She'll never have to settle for a man who needs her to be small so he can feel big. She'll never accept emotional manipulation or spiritual abuse as "God's design for marriage." She knows what healthy masculinity looks like because she's lived with it every day.

When she chooses a life partner someday, her standards will be high—not in a superficial way, but in the ways that matter. She'll look for a man who serves love, who uses his strength to protect rather than control, who sees her as a co-heir rather than a subordinate.

The Ripple Effect

But this isn't just about our granddaughter. It's about every child being raised in Kingdom homes where mutual submission is the norm. These children are growing up with a fundamentally different understanding of relationships, authority, and God's heart.

They're not carrying the wounds of hierarchical dysfunction into their adult relationships. They're not perpetuating cycles of spiritual abuse or gender-based oppression. They're creating a new normal—one that actually reflects the heart of Christ.

Preparing Her for the World

Of course, our granddaughter will encounter the broken world beyond our home. She'll meet people who believe women should be subordinate to men. She'll face churches that want to limit her gifts because of her gender. She'll encounter relationships built on dominance rather than love.

But she'll be equipped to recognize these as departures from God's design, not expressions of it. She'll have the confidence that comes from knowing her worth isn't dependent on someone else's approval. She'll have the strength that comes from being raised in love rather than fear.

Most importantly, she'll carry the vision of what relationships can be. She'll be part of the generation that transforms the Church and the world by simply living out the truth they were raised in.

A Generation of Kingdom Kids

I believe God is raising up a generation of children who won't have to unlearn toxic theology about relationships. They won't have to deconstruct harmful teaching about gender and authority because they'll be constructed correctly from the beginning.

These children will grow up expecting mutual honor in relationships. They'll see leadership as service, not domination. They'll understand that God's image is reflected in both male and female, that both voices matter equally in His Kingdom.

When these children become adults, they won't perpetuate the power struggles and spiritual abuse that have plagued previous generations. They'll create families, churches, and communities built on the solid foundation of mutual love and honor.

The Vision for Tomorrow

I picture our granddaughter as an adult, confident in her gifts, strong in her faith, secure in her identity. Whether she becomes a CEO or a stay-at-home mom, a pastor or a teacher, a politician or an artist—she'll know that her worth isn't determined by conforming to someone else's idea of what women should be.

She'll choose roles and relationships based on calling and gifting, not gender expectations. She'll partner with men who see her as an equal, not a subordinate. She'll raise her own children (if she chooses to have them) in the freedom she experienced growing up.

And here's the beautiful part: this won't feel revolutionary to her—it will feel normal. The Kingdom way will be the only way she knows.

An Invitation to Parents

If you're a parent reading this, you have the power to give your children this same gift. You can break generational cycles in your own family. You can model mutual submission and honor instead of hierarchy and control.

Your daughters can grow up knowing they're co-heirs in the Kingdom, not second-class citizens. Your sons can learn that true strength serves love, not self. Both can discover that following Jesus means becoming more fully human, not less.

It starts with examining your own relationships and theology. Are you modeling the hierarchy of the world or the mutual love of the Kingdom? Are you raising children who will have to unlearn toxic patterns, or children who are being built on the solid foundation of God's design from the beginning?

The Promise

This is the promise I'm holding onto: our granddaughter will never have to choose between being strong and being godly because she's being raised in a home where those aren't opposites—they're two sides of the same beautiful coin.

She'll never have to recover from spiritual abuse because she's being raised in spiritual health. She'll never have to question her worth because she's being told every day that she bears the image of God.

And she's not alone. All across the world, children are being raised in Kingdom homes where mutual love and honor are the norm. These children are the future of the Church, the hope of the world, the generation that will finally live out God's original design for relationships.

They're going to change everything. And I can't wait to see what they do.

Blessings,
Susan 😊