The Business Meeting That Changed My Understanding of Leadership
How Kingdom principles create better outcomes in the real world
I used to think mutual submission was a nice theological concept that worked great in theory but would fall apart when real decisions needed to be made. After all, someone has to be in charge, right? Someone has to make the final call when the team can't agree.
Then I started applying Kingdom principles in my real estate business, and everything changed.
The Traditional Leadership Model I Knew
Before Gregory and I discovered mutual submission, I operated my business the way most people do—through hierarchical decision-making. As the owner, I made the final calls. When my agents disagreed with me, I listened politely and then did what I thought was best. When conflicts arose between team members, I stepped in as the authority figure to resolve them.
It seemed efficient. It felt like leadership. And it produced mediocre results at best.
My agents followed my directions, but they rarely brought me their best ideas. They executed my vision, but they didn't own it. When things went wrong, they looked to me to fix them rather than taking initiative themselves. I was working harder than anyone else while my team operated at a fraction of their potential.
Sound familiar? This is how most businesses, churches, and even families operate—one person carrying the weight of decision-making while everyone else waits for instructions.
The Day Everything Shifted
The turning point came during a team meeting about a challenging transaction. One of my newer agents was working with a difficult seller who was making unreasonable demands. The traditional approach would have been for me to step in, tell the agent exactly what to do, and take over if things didn't improve.
Instead, I found myself asking different questions:
"What do you think we should do?" "What's your gut telling you about this situation?" "What would you try if you knew you couldn't fail?" "How can the rest of us support you in this?"
Something beautiful happened in that room. Instead of looking to me for answers, my agent started problem-solving. Instead of defensively explaining why things weren't working, she started brainstorming creative solutions. Instead of operating from fear of making the wrong choice, she started operating from confidence and ownership.
But here's what surprised me most: the solution she came up with was better than anything I would have suggested.
The Power of Mutual Influence
That experience taught me something revolutionary: when people know their voice matters, they bring their best thinking to the table. When they feel truly heard and valued, they take ownership rather than just following orders.
This is exactly what happens in my marriage with Gregory. When we approach decisions as co-equals rather than through hierarchy, we consistently arrive at better solutions than either of us would have reached alone. Our combined wisdom is greater than the sum of our individual perspectives.
The same principle applies in business leadership.
How Kingdom Leadership Actually Works
In Dewbrew Realty, I've learned to lead through influence rather than authority. Here's what that looks like practically:
Instead of making unilateral decisions, I gather input from the people who will be affected by those decisions. My agents often see things I miss because they're closer to the day-to-day realities of our clients' needs.
Instead of having all the answers, I ask better questions. "What are you seeing that I might be missing?" "What would success look like from your perspective?" "What obstacles are we not considering?"
Instead of micromanaging execution, I create space for people to operate from their strengths. Some of my agents are brilliant at working with first-time buyers; others excel with luxury properties. Rather than forcing everyone into the same mold, I let their gifts determine their focus.
Instead of taking credit for successes, I highlight my team's contributions. When a difficult transaction closes successfully, I make sure everyone knows which agent's creativity or persistence made it happen.
The Results Speak for Themselves
The transformation in my business has been remarkable. My agents are more engaged, more creative, and more committed to our shared vision. They bring me problems and solutions, not just problems. They take initiative rather than waiting for direction.
Client satisfaction has soared because my agents feel empowered to go above and beyond rather than just following a script. Our referral rate has increased dramatically because clients can tell the difference between someone who's just doing a job and someone who's genuinely invested in their success.
Most importantly, I'm no longer the bottleneck in my own business. Decisions get made faster because multiple people feel empowered to make them. Problems get solved more creatively because multiple perspectives contribute to the solutions.
Gregory's Food Bank: Servant Leadership in Action
Gregory's approach to leading Harvesting-In-Mansfield (HIM) for over twenty years demonstrated the same principles on an even larger scale. As the founder of what became one of the largest private food banks in the Dallas Fort Worth area, he could have easily operated from a traditional command-and-control model.
Instead, he led by serving. Gregory didn't just direct the ministry—he was there loading trucks, sorting food, and interacting directly with the families they served. His leadership flowed from his willingness to do whatever needed to be done, not from his position as founder.
The volunteers and staff at HIM followed Gregory not because they had to, but because they wanted to. They saw him put the mission above his own comfort, the needs of the poor above his own convenience, the success of the ministry above his own recognition.
This servant leadership model allowed HIM to grow from handing out bags of groceries from a church window to serving hundreds of families directly each month and supplying food to approximately 70 other pantries throughout the Metroplex.
The Myth of Efficiency
"But isn't it just more efficient to have one person make the decisions?" This is the question I hear most often when I talk about collaborative leadership.
The answer is no—at least not in the long run.
Autocratic decision-making might seem faster initially, but it creates multiple inefficiencies:
Decisions are made with incomplete information
People don't buy into solutions they didn't help create
Implementation is slower because everyone has to be convinced rather than contributing
Problems aren't anticipated because only one perspective was considered
Team members become passive rather than proactive
Collaborative leadership takes more time upfront but saves enormous amounts of time in execution. When people help create the solution, they're invested in making it work.
Addressing the "But What If..." Questions
"But what if people can't agree?" In practice, this happens far less often than you'd expect when everyone feels genuinely heard. When it does happen, the focus shifts from "who gets to decide" to "what are we missing that's causing this disagreement?"
"But what if someone makes a bad decision?" People make better decisions when they feel empowered and supported than when they're operating from fear of making mistakes. And when they do make mistakes, they learn from them more effectively because they own the outcome.
"But what if things take too long?" Some decisions need to be made quickly, and good leaders know when to move fast. But most important decisions benefit from taking time to gather wisdom from multiple sources.
The Difference in Culture
The difference between hierarchical and collaborative leadership isn't just in the processes—it's in the entire culture that develops.
In hierarchical organizations, people learn to:
Wait for permission rather than taking initiative
Cover their mistakes rather than learning from them
Compete with each other for the leader's approval
Focus on avoiding blame rather than creating solutions
In collaborative organizations, people learn to:
Take ownership and initiative
Bring problems and potential solutions
Support each other's success
Focus on serving the mission rather than protecting themselves
Why This Matters for the Church
The leadership principles that work in business also work in ministry—because they're Kingdom principles. Churches that operate through collaborative leadership rather than hierarchical control create healthier cultures and more effective ministries.
When pastors lead through influence rather than authority, congregation members become more engaged. When decisions are made collaboratively rather than unilaterally, people have more ownership in the outcomes. When gifts are honored regardless of gender or position, the whole body functions more effectively.
The same principles that transformed my business can transform our churches, our families, and our communities.
An Invitation to Lead Differently
Whether you're a business owner, a pastor, a parent, or simply someone with influence in your sphere, I want to challenge you to experiment with collaborative leadership:
Ask more questions and give fewer answers
Seek input from people who will be affected by your decisions
Create space for others to contribute their gifts and perspectives
Measure success by how well you empower others, not by how much control you maintain
You might be surprised to discover that sharing authority doesn't diminish your leadership—it multiplies it.
The Kingdom Way
Jesus modeled a completely different kind of leadership than what the world offers. He washed feet rather than demanding service. He asked questions rather than issuing orders. He empowered His followers rather than controlling them.
"'Whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all' (Mark 10:43-44, NIV)."
This isn't just a nice sentiment—it's a practical leadership model that produces better results in every context where it's applied.
The Kingdom way isn't just more Christ-like; it's more effective. When we lead like Jesus, we don't just honor God—we unleash the full potential of the people we're privileged to serve.
And that changes everything.
Blessings,
Susan 😊