The Difference Between Biblical Submission and Cultural Oppression
"Slaves, be subject to your masters with all reverence, not only to the good and gentle, but also to the harsh" (1 Peter 2:18).
"Wives, be subject to your husbands as you are to the Lord" (Ephesians 5:22).
For years, I read these verses and accepted what I was taught: that God ordained both slavery and female subordination as part of His divine design. But something always bothered me about this interpretation. If we now recognize that God doesn't endorse slavery, why do we still insist He endorses permanent female subordination?
The answer changed everything for me: Paul and Peter weren't endorsing these oppressive systems—they were showing believers how to transform them from within through the revolutionary power of love.
The Pattern We've Been Missing
Here's what I discovered when I started paying attention: every time the New Testament tells wives to submit, it places this instruction within the context of broader submission teachings that include slaves submitting to masters. This isn't coincidence—it's intentional.
Consider these parallel passages:
Ephesians 5:22 & 6:5: "Wives, submit to your husbands... Slaves, obey your earthly masters..."
Colossians 3:18 & 3:22: "Wives, submit to your husbands... Slaves, obey your earthly masters..."
1 Peter 3:1 & 2:18: "Wives, be submissive to your husbands... Servants, be submissive to your masters..."
Why does this pattern matter? Because in the first-century Roman world, wives were essentially domestic slaves. They had no legal rights, couldn't own property, couldn't divorce abusive husbands, and had no say in major family decisions. When Paul and Peter addressed wives and slaves together, they were addressing two groups experiencing similar powerlessness.
What the Apostles Were Really Doing
Rather than reinforcing these oppressive systems, the apostles were teaching something revolutionary: how to rise above obligation and enter into the realm of operating in your own power through free will.
When someone can force you to do something, you have two choices:
Comply reluctantly because you have no choice (obligation)
Choose to do it willingly out of love (submission)
The difference is transformational. As I explain in BLIND SPOT, this is like Jesus' teaching: "If they force you to carry their pack one mile, go with them two." He wasn't saying "be a doormat." He was saying, "Take back your power. Move from being controlled to choosing love."
The "Weaker Vessel" Reexamined
One of the most misunderstood passages about women is 1 Peter 3:7, where husbands are told to honor their wives "as the weaker vessel." Traditional teaching has used this to argue that women are inherently inferior to men.
But look at what Peter actually says: "giving honor unto the wife as unto the weaker vessel" (emphasis mine). Whatever "weaker vessel" means, the response must be honor, not dishonor.
There are several ways to understand this phrase:
Option 1: In Peter's cultural context, women genuinely were "weaker" in terms of legal and social power. They couldn't vote, own property, or even testify in court. A woman witnessing a murder couldn't legally testify about what she saw. In this context, yes—she was disadvantaged and needed protection and honor.
Option 2: The word translated "weaker" can also mean "precious" or "valuable"—like fine china compared to everyday dishes. This interpretation sees women as treasured rather than inferior.
Option 3: The phrase might be comparative rather than absolute—perhaps meaning women are "more delicate" in the sense that they often bear greater emotional and physical burdens (like childbearing) and deserve extra care.
Regardless of which interpretation is correct, the command is clear: honor her. Any interpretation that leads to dishonoring, controlling, or diminishing women contradicts Peter's explicit instruction.
The Long View of History
The apostles understood something we often miss: the gospel is leaven in the dough. They knew that the Kingdom of God works gradually, transforming systems from within over time.
They couldn't immediately overturn slavery or patriarchy—the Roman Empire would have crushed any such direct challenge. But they could plant seeds of Kingdom truth that would eventually undermine these systems entirely.
Consider what actually happened:
The early church included women in leadership roles
Christians began treating slaves as brothers and sisters
The gospel gradually transformed attitudes about human dignity and equality
Over centuries, these Kingdom seeds grew into movements that abolished slavery and expanded women's rights
We're still living in that transformation process. The same gospel truths that eventually undermined slavery are now undermining gender-based hierarchy.
Biblical Submission vs. Cultural Oppression
So what's the difference between biblical submission and cultural oppression?
Cultural oppression:
Based on force, fear, or obligation
Creates hierarchy where some people are inherently "less than"
Silences voices and limits gifts based on demographics
Results in resentment, fear, and diminished relationships
Serves the powerful at the expense of the vulnerable
Biblical submission:
Based on love, choice, and mutual honor
Recognizes equal dignity while honoring different gifts and roles
Empowers all voices and gifts to flourish
Results in unity, safety, and enriched relationships
Serves others at the expense of self
True biblical submission is always:
Mutual (everyone submitting to everyone)
Voluntary (chosen freely out of love)
Temporary (flowing based on needs and circumstances)
Empowering (lifting others up rather than controlling them)
Christ-like (following Jesus' example of servant leadership)
The Context of Evangelism
Understanding why Peter specifically addressed women married to unbelievers helps clarify his intent. In 1 Peter 3:1, he's not establishing a universal hierarchy—he's providing missionary strategy.
These Christian women were in a precarious position. Their conversion could be seen as rebellion against their husbands' authority. Peter's advice was essentially: "Win them through respectful behavior rather than confrontation. Let them see Christ's love through your character."
This was wisdom for a specific evangelistic situation, not a permanent blueprint for all marriages.
The Freedom to Choose
Here's what transformed my understanding: when someone has the power to force you, choosing to comply willingly is actually an act of strength, not weakness.
Gregory has never once used his greater physical strength, his male privilege, or any form of intimidation to get his way with me. Never. Because of this safety, when I choose to defer to his wisdom or support his decisions, I'm doing so freely—out of love, not fear.
That's the difference between submission and oppression. True submission can only exist where there's freedom to refuse.
Moving Forward
As we continue to grow in Kingdom understanding, we must distinguish between what Scripture describes (the cultural realities of ancient times) and what it prescribes (God's eternal intentions for relationships).
The apostles worked within oppressive systems while simultaneously undermining them through the revolutionary power of love. They showed believers how to live with Kingdom hearts even in imperfect circumstances, while planting seeds that would eventually transform those circumstances entirely.
We're not called to perpetuate the cultural limitations of the first century—we're called to live out the Kingdom realities that the early church could only dream about.
The question isn't whether women should submit to men or slaves should submit to masters. The question is how we can all live out Christ's revolutionary call to "submit to one another out of reverence for Christ"—creating relationships characterized by mutual honor, mutual empowerment, and mutual love.
That's the heart of the gospel. That's the Kingdom Jesus demonstrated. And that's the truth that's been hiding in plain sight all along.
Blessings,
Susan 😊