The Father's Permission: A Call to Godly Men in Leadership

I need to share something with the men reading this—something that comes from a place of deep passion, born from my own journey as a wife, mother, and advocate for the wounded. This isn't theory for me. This is written from the place of someone who has walked through very real pain and seen the devastating effects when good men don't know how to use their strength and influence rightly.

But I've also seen something beautiful: what happens when godly men step into their true calling as protectors and defenders of the vulnerable. I've witnessed the transformation that occurs when men understand that their strength was never meant to control but to create safety.

A Father's Heart

I want to speak to you first as a mother of daughters who have experienced abuse. Some of this abuse happened outside our home, and some was connected to religious environments where they should have been safe. As a mother, I've felt moments where I was on the very edge of feeling murderous because of what others have done to my children.

That rage, that protective fury—that's the father's heart. That's the righteous anger that rises up when those we love are harmed. And I believe that same protective instinct lives in many of you reading this.

But here's what I've learned: too many good men have been trained to protect the wrong things. Instead of protecting people, we've been trained to protect systems, institutions, and reputations. Instead of defending the vulnerable, we've been taught to preserve appearances and maintain order.

This has to change.

The Permission You've Been Waiting For

If you're a husband, father, pastor, business leader, or man in any position of influence, I want to speak directly to you:

You have the Father's permission to become an advocate for those who have been oppressed.

You have permission to use your influence, your power, and your authority to create safe spaces where the vulnerable can find healing and hope.

You have permission to stop protecting systems that wound people and start protecting the people themselves.

You have permission to believe victims when they find the courage to speak.

You have permission to confront predatory behavior, even when it's uncomfortable or costly.

You have permission to reflect the heart of the Good Shepherd who rises up in fury against the wolf.

Beyond Protecting Systems

For too long, many of us in leadership positions have been oriented toward protecting the system—the reputation of the church, the stability of the organization, the comfort of the institution. We've been trained to ask questions like:

• "How will this affect our reputation?"

• "What will people think if this gets out?"

• "How can we handle this quietly?"

• "What's the proper procedure here?"

But these are the wrong questions. The right questions are:

• "Is this person safe?"

• "How can we protect them from further harm?"

• "What do they need to heal?"

• "How can we ensure this doesn't happen to others?"

When we prioritize institutional protection over human protection, we become complicit in the very abuse we should be preventing.

The Difference Between Biblical Authority and Worldly Power

Here's something crucial to understand: there's a fundamental difference between biblical authority and worldly power structures.

Worldly power says:

• "I'm in charge, so you must obey"

• "My position gives me the right to control"

• "Submit to me because I'm the leader"

• "Questioning me is rebellion"

Biblical authority says:

• "I'm responsible to serve and protect"

• "My position is for lifting others up"

• "I submit myself to God's will and your good"

• "Iron sharpens iron through honest dialogue"

Jesus himself demonstrated this distinction when he said, "Whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all. For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many" (Mark 10:43-45, NIV).

What Godly Strength Looks Like

My husband Gregory is a perfect example of what godly strength looks like in practice. He's six feet tall with shoulders that seem nearly as wide. He was raised in a tough area and wouldn't hesitate to physically defend those weaker than him. That includes me.

But here's what makes Gregory extraordinary: that power has never once been used to intimidate me to get his own way. Never even an insinuation of force. Not physically. Not financially. Not emotionally..

His strength isn't diminished by this restraint—it's channeled into protection and empowerment rather than control. He's not less of a man; he's more fully human as he reflects Christ's self-giving love.

This is what godly masculinity looks like:

• Strength used to protect rather than dominate

• Power exercised to lift up rather than control

• Authority expressed through service rather than command

• Leadership demonstrated by example rather than force

Creating Safe Spaces

So what does it practically look like for men in leadership to create truly safe spaces? Here are some concrete steps:

For Pastors and Church Leaders:

• Develop clear policies for handling reports of abuse that prioritize victim safety

• Train your leadership team to recognize the difference between conflict and abuse

• Create multiple reporting channels so victims don't have to approach their abuser's friends

• Partner with qualified counselors and legal experts

• Publicly communicate that abuse will not be tolerated in your community

For Fathers:

• Teach your children about healthy relationships and boundary setting

• Model respectful behavior toward all women, especially your wife

• Create environments where your children feel safe to tell you anything

• Believe your children when they report uncomfortable or inappropriate behavior

• Take action to protect them, even when it's inconvenient or costly

For Husbands:

• Practice mutual submission rather than demanding unilateral authority

• Use your physical and social advantages to create safety, not to get your way

• Support your wife's calling and gifting, even when it challenges traditional expectations

• Take responsibility for your own emotions rather than expecting her to manage them

• Model the character you want to see in the men your daughters might marry

For Business Leaders:

• Create clear anti-harassment policies and enforce them consistently

• Foster cultures where people can report problems without fear of retaliation

• Use your influence to support organizations that serve abuse survivors

• Examine your hiring and promotion practices for unconscious bias

• Mentor younger men in healthy leadership practices

The Wolf in Sheep's Clothing

One of the most important skills for godly men to develop is the ability to recognize predatory behavior, especially when it's disguised as godly leadership.

Wolves in sheep's clothing are particularly dangerous because they use religious language and spiritual concepts to gain trust and access to victims. They often present themselves as the most devoted, the most committed, the most spiritually mature—but their fruit tells a different story.

Warning signs include:

• Claiming exclusive spiritual authority that shouldn't be questioned

• Using Scripture to justify controlling behavior toward others

• Creating cultures of fear disguised as "respect for leadership"

• Isolating people from outside perspectives or relationships

• Punishing those who ask questions or express concerns

• Taking credit for others' successes while blaming them for failures

• Showing different faces in public versus private interactions

As Jesus said, "By their fruit you will recognize them" (Matthew 7:16, NIV). No matter how spiritual someone sounds, if their behavior consistently produces fear, shame, confusion, or harm in others, something is deeply wrong.

Moving Beyond Legalism to Love

Here's something crucial: creating safe spaces isn't about implementing more rules or becoming a judiciary. It's about fostering cultures where love, honor, and mutual submission naturally flourish.

The goal isn't to create another legalistic system where everyone walks on eggshells trying to follow procedures. The goal is to create environments where people can be authentic, vulnerable, and honest because they know they're valued and protected.

This means:

• Leading with grace while maintaining appropriate boundaries

• Prioritizing relationships over rigid protocols

• Fostering open dialogue rather than demanding blind obedience

• Creating space for mistakes while addressing harmful patterns

• Celebrating diverse gifts rather than enforcing uniformity

The Privilege of Protection

Men, understand this: your position, your influence, your physical strength—these aren't burdens or tools for personal gain. They're privileges that come with profound responsibility.

You have been entrusted with power not for your own benefit, but for the protection and empowerment of others. Every platform you're given, every voice you have, every door that opens for you—these are opportunities to reflect the heart of Christ toward those who have less power, fewer opportunities, and greater vulnerability.

This is especially true when it comes to women and children, who have historically been the most vulnerable to abuse of power. But it extends to anyone who finds themselves in positions of less social, economic, or institutional power.

A Personal Challenge

Let me challenge you directly: What are you doing with the influence you've been given?

Are you using your voice to defend those who can't defend themselves? Are you creating environments where truth can be spoken without fear of retaliation? Are you modeling the kind of character you want to see reproduced in the next generation of men?

Or are you passively allowing harmful systems to continue because confronting them would be uncomfortable or costly?

Silence in the face of abuse is complicity. Good men who do nothing enable evil men to continue their destructive work.

The Courage to Act

I understand that speaking up can be costly. Confronting abuse often means:

• Risking relationships with people in power

• Facing criticism from those who prefer to maintain the status quo

• Dealing with complex situations that don't have easy answers

• Potentially facing legal or professional consequences

But consider the alternative: the continued suffering of people who are counting on someone with influence to speak up for them.

As Edmund Burke reportedly said, "The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing."

Hope for a New Generation

What gives me tremendous hope is seeing a new generation of men rising up who understand these principles intuitively. Men who see their strength as a gift to be used in service of others rather than for personal advantage.

These men are:

• Choosing partnership over dominance in their marriages

• Teaching their children about consent and boundaries from an early age

• Speaking up against inappropriate behavior even when it's uncomfortable

• Using their platforms to amplify voices that need to be heard

• Modeling emotional health and vulnerability for the men around them

A Prayer of Release

I want to close with a prayer of release over every man reading this:

Father, in the mighty name of Jesus, I stand with these men who desire to reflect Your heart. We repent on behalf of fathers, husbands, leaders, and pastors who have often not known what to do, so they did nothing, or whose actions were clumsy and created more problems.

But Father, their hearts are toward You, and they truly want to reflect Your passion for the wounded sheep. They want to be like the Good Shepherd who rises up in fury against the wolf.

We say to the wolf spirit: You're not permitted here. You don't get to become a predator in our communities, our families, our churches, our businesses.

And to those wolves in sheep's clothing who hide their predatory behavior under religious disguises—in the name of Jesus, we say your disguise is exposed. We rip it off and uncover the wolf spirit.

Father, we declare that there is healing, hope, and help for anyone willing to truly repent, to clean up the mess they've made, to get right and get holy and get healed. We say there is grace and mercy available.

But at the same time, we refuse to permit spaces to become toxic and unsafe under the guise of mercy. We will not allow grace to be used as a cover for continued harm.

We bless every man reading this with courage, with wisdom, with discernment. Give them grace to create safe spaces. Release Your amazing grace so they can build communities of safety and healing.

In Jesus' name, Amen.

Amazing Grace for Safe Spaces

You have been given everything you need to be a protector, a defender, a creator of safe spaces where healing can happen and people can flourish.

The question isn't whether you have the ability—the question is whether you'll have the courage to use it.

You have the Father's permission. Now step into the calling He's placed on your life to be a man who uses his strength to lift others up, who leverages his influence to create safety, and who reflects the very heart of God toward those who need protection.

The world is waiting for men who understand that true strength serves others, that real authority creates safety, and that godly leadership looks exactly like Jesus—who came not to be served, but to serve.

The time is now. The calling is clear. And you have everything you need to answer it.

Rise up, men of God. The vulnerable are counting on you.

Blessings,
Susan 😊