When Good Intentions Create Bad Fruit
When people point to the chaos in our culture—broken families, rising divorce rates, widespread dysfunction—they often blame it on society's rejection of "traditional values." If only people would return to biblical gender roles, they argue, if only wives would submit and husbands would lead, everything would be better.
But what if we have this exactly backward?
What if the state of our world is actually the Church's report card—reflecting not our faithfulness to biblical truth, but our faithfulness to human systems that contradict the Gospel of God's Kingdom?
The Harvest Principle
Jesus taught us to recognize trees by their fruit (Matthew 7:16, NKJV). Good trees produce good fruit; corrupt trees produce bad fruit. This principle applies not just to individuals but to entire systems and philosophies.
So what kind of fruit has hierarchical, dominance-based Christianity produced over the centuries?
Spiritual abuse scandals that seem to emerge from church leadership regularly
Generations of wounded people fleeing organized religion
Women and men who've never discovered their true calling because they were told their gender disqualified them
Children raised in authoritarian homes who associate Christianity with control and fear
Families that look stable from the outside but are built on suppression and resentment
This isn't the fault of the Gospel. This is the harvest of systems that replaced Christ's revolutionary model of mutual submission with the world's power pyramids.
Missing the Target
When traditionalists point to cultural breakdown and say, "See what happens when we abandon biblical hierarchy," they're making a fundamental error. They're assuming the dysfunction comes from rejecting God's design, when it actually comes from embracing counterfeit versions of God's design.
The broken families, wounded children, and dysfunctional relationships we see around us aren't the result of people rejecting biblical submission—they're often the direct result of people trying to live out unbiblical dominance structures they were told were biblical.
The Wrong Kingdom
Here's what I've discovered through years of study and ministry: we've been operating from the wrong kingdom's playbook while claiming to serve the right King.
In the world's empire system:
Authority means having power over others
Leadership means being in control
Submission means inferior status
Success means rising above others
Relationships are structured as power pyramids
But in God's Kingdom:
Authority means responsibility to serve others
Leadership means empowering others to flourish
Submission is mutual and honors everyone involved
Success means everyone rising together
Relationships are built on mutual honor and love
When the Church embraced the world's definition of authority and hierarchy, we stopped being salt and light. Instead of transforming culture, culture transformed us.
The Apostolic Assignment
Scripture tells us the Church's job is actually to create culture, not just reflect it. We're called to be agents of transformation, demonstrating what God's Kingdom looks like through our relationships and communities.
But when our marriages look like corporate hierarchies, when our church leadership operates like secular power structures, when our parenting mirrors authoritarian control rather than empowering love—we're not creating Kingdom culture. We're perpetuating the very systems Christ came to overthrow.
Historical Reality Check
The traditionalist argument assumes that "biblical" gender roles and hierarchical structures have been faithfully practiced throughout Church history, and that cultural problems stem from recent departures from these patterns.
But this ignores several uncomfortable realities:
The early Church was radically egalitarian compared to surrounding cultures. Women served as deacons, apostles, and co-workers in ministry until later institutionalization adopted Roman hierarchical patterns.
Many of our "traditional" interpretations developed not from careful biblical study but from accommodation to surrounding patriarchal cultures.
The worst abuses in Church history—from the Crusades to the Inquisition to the defense of slavery—were often justified using the same hierarchical thinking that subordinates women.
Current cultural dysfunction has developed over generations of families shaped by authoritarian Christianity, not in spite of it.
Generational Consequences
The damage from dominance-based systems doesn't appear immediately. It compounds across generations.
Children raised under authoritarian control often become either authoritarian themselves or completely reject authority altogether. They enter marriage having never seen healthy partnership modeled. They approach parenting either by replicating the control they experienced or swinging to permissive extremes.
After several generations of this cycle, we end up with exactly what we see today: a culture that struggles with healthy relationships, appropriate boundaries, and functional community.
The Kingdom Alternative
But here's the beautiful reality: wherever Christians have actually embraced Kingdom principles—mutual submission, servant leadership, empowering love—we see completely different fruit.
Families built on mutual honor and submission produce children who know how to relate respectfully, resolve conflict maturely, and serve others joyfully. Churches that practice genuine equality and mutual empowerment become communities that attract rather than repel. Marriages built on partnership rather than hierarchy become testimonies to Christ's love for the Church.
These Kingdom communities aren't perfect, but they demonstrate what's possible when we align our methods with Christ's message.
Beyond Blame to Transformation
I'm not interested in playing the blame game or condemning previous generations who were trying their best with the understanding they had. Many of the people who taught and practiced hierarchical systems genuinely loved God and wanted to honor Him.
But I am passionate about breaking cycles that wound people and misrepresent Christ's heart.
We can acknowledge that sincere people got some things wrong without dishonoring their hearts or throwing away everything they taught us. We can appreciate their faithfulness while moving toward more accurate understanding.
The Urgency of Now
The good news is that God is awakening His people to these truths right now. Across the world, Christians are rediscovering what Kingdom relationships actually look like. They're learning to distinguish between cultural traditions and biblical truth.
This awakening isn't about conforming to secular culture—it's about recovering the radical counter-cultural message of Christ that got buried under centuries of accommodation to worldly power structures.
A Different Report Card
Imagine what our cultural report card would look like if the Church had consistently modeled Kingdom relationships for the past several centuries:
Families built on mutual love and empowerment rather than dominance and control
Communities where everyone's gifts were honored regardless of gender, race, or social status
Leadership that served and empowered rather than controlled and limited
Children raised with voice, dignity, and appropriate empowerment
Marriages that reflected the mutual love between Christ and His Church
This isn't a fantasy—it's God's original design. And it's still available to us today.
Taking Responsibility
The first step toward cultural transformation is taking responsibility for our part in creating current dysfunction. We can't keep pointing to "secular culture" as the problem while ignoring how our own systems may have contributed to the very issues we're trying to solve.
When the Church embraces authentic Kingdom principles—mutual submission, servant leadership, empowering love—we become the solution rather than part of the problem.
The Time Is Now
The apostolic assignment to transform culture through Kingdom relationships isn't just for church leaders or marriage ministers. It's for every believer willing to live out Christ's revolutionary model of power through love.
It starts in our marriages, our families, our small groups, our communities. As we embody mutual honor and submission, we create islands of Kingdom culture that demonstrate a better way.
This is how God's Kingdom advances—not through imposed systems or cultural mandates, but through transformed relationships that show the world what Love actually looks like.
The question isn't whether our culture will change. The question is whether the Church will take responsibility for modeling the transformation we want to see.
Our report card is being written right now. What grade do we want to earn?
How has your experience with hierarchical versus Kingdom-based relationships affected your faith and family? What would change if Christians consistently modeled mutual submission rather than dominance structures? I'd love to hear your thoughts on the Church's role in cultural transformation.
Blessings,
Susan 😊