When Scripture is Used as a Weapon: Reclaiming Biblical Authority from Abusers

"Sarah, you need to follow Matthew 18. You haven't properly confronted your husband about his anger issues before involving church leadership."

The pastor's words hit me like a physical blow. Here I was, finally finding courage to disclose years of emotional and verbal abuse, and instead of protection, I was being handed a biblical formula that would put me in greater danger.

This conversation—one I witnessed secondhand through a friend's experience—represents one of the most heartbreaking realities I encounter: Scripture being weaponized to silence victims and protect abusers. When the very words meant to bring life and freedom become tools of oppression, we're witnessing spiritual abuse at its most insidious.

Today, I want to address how biblical passages get twisted to enable abuse and how we can reclaim authentic biblical authority that protects the vulnerable rather than empowering those who harm.

The Weaponization of God's Word

Spiritual abuse happens when religious authority, Scripture, or spiritual concepts are used to manipulate, control, or harm others. Unlike other forms of abuse, spiritual abuse attacks not just someone's body or emotions but their very connection to God and their faith community.

Abusers—whether they're husbands, pastors, church leaders, or religious family members—often become skilled at using biblical language to justify their behavior and silence their victims. They turn God's word into a weapon rather than a source of healing and hope.

Some of the most commonly misused passages include:

Submission texts: Ephesians 5:22, Colossians 3:18, and 1 Peter 3:1-6 get ripped from their contexts to demand absolute obedience from women while ignoring the calls for mutual submission and sacrificial love.

Forgiveness passages: Matthew 6:14-15, Matthew 18:21-22, and Ephesians 4:32 become tools to pressure victims into premature reconciliation without repentance or safety measures.

Authority texts: Romans 13:1-7 and Hebrews 13:17 get twisted to demand unquestioning obedience to any leader who claims spiritual authority.

Unity verses: John 17:21 and Ephesians 4:3 become weapons to silence those who speak up about problems, framing their concerns as "divisive" or "rebellious."

Why Matthew 18 Doesn't Work with Power Imbalances

One of the most frequently misapplied passages is Matthew 18:15-17, where Jesus outlines steps for addressing sin within the community: "Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone" (Matthew 18:15, NKJV).

Countless abuse victims have been told they must follow this process before seeking help or protection. But this application completely misunderstands both the context and purpose of Jesus' teaching.

Matthew 18 assumes several conditions that don't exist in abusive relationships:

Equal power and status. Jesus is addressing relationships between "brothers"—peers within the faith community. The passage assumes both parties have equal standing and voice in the community.

Willingness to listen and change. The process only works when the person being confronted is genuinely open to correction and repentance. Abusers typically respond to direct confrontation with escalation, retaliation, or manipulation.

Safety for the confronter. The framework assumes the person bringing the concern won't face danger or punishment for speaking up. In abusive relationships, direct confrontation often triggers increased violence or control.

Good faith participation. The passage assumes both parties want to resolve the issue and maintain relationship. Abusers often use the confrontation process itself as another opportunity to manipulate and control.

When there's a significant power imbalance—whether between spouses, pastor and congregant, or parent and adult child—Matthew 18 becomes a tool that protects the powerful and silences the vulnerable.

The Difference Between Biblical Correction and Manipulation

How do we distinguish between legitimate biblical correction and spiritual abuse? Here are key differences:

Motive: Biblical correction seeks the other person's good and the relationship's health. Spiritual abuse seeks control and personal advantage.

Response to pushback: Healthy correction welcomes questions and allows for dialogue. Spiritual abuse punishes questioning and demands unthinking compliance.

Fruit: Biblical correction produces repentance, growth, and closer relationships. Spiritual abuse produces fear, confusion, and distance from God and others.

Authority source: Biblical correction flows from character and love. Spiritual abuse relies on position, intimidation, or religious credentials.

Consistency: Biblical correction applies standards equally. Spiritual abuse creates different rules for different people based on their usefulness to the abuser.

Reclaiming Healthy Authority

Authentic biblical authority looks radically different from the dominance models often seen in religious abuse. Jesus demonstrated servant leadership that empowers others rather than controlling them:

"You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and those who are great exercise authority over them. Yet it shall not be so among you; but whoever desires to become great among you, let him be your servant" (Matthew 20:25-26, NKJV).

Healthy spiritual authority:

Serves rather than demands service. True leaders follow Jesus' example of washing feet rather than expecting to be waited on.

Empowers rather than controls. Healthy leaders help others discover their gifts and calling rather than keeping them dependent and submissive.

Protects the vulnerable. Biblical authority stands with the oppressed and challenges those who abuse power, just as Jesus consistently did.

Welcomes accountability. Godly leaders invite feedback, admit mistakes, and submit to oversight rather than claiming to be above correction.

Points to Jesus. Authentic authority directs people toward Christ rather than toward human leaders or religious systems.

My Journey from Religious Programming to Kingdom Freedom

My own journey illustrates how spiritual abuse can masquerade as biblical teaching. For years, I accepted that my role as a wife was to submit regardless of how I was treated. I believed that God's primary concern was keeping my marriage intact, not keeping me safe.

I interpreted passages about wives submitting to husbands while ignoring verses about mutual submission. I focused on scriptures about forgiveness while overlooking God's heart for justice. I emphasized unity while neglecting passages about confronting evil.

This wasn't because I was spiritually immature or didn't love God. It was because I had been taught a version of Christianity that prioritized male authority and institutional preservation over human flourishing. The religious programming ran so deep that I couldn't see how it contradicted the character of Christ.

Breaking free required going back to Scripture with fresh eyes, studying the cultural contexts of difficult passages, and paying attention to the overall trajectory of God's revelation toward freedom and equality. As I share in BLIND SPOT, I discovered that many passages I thought supported hierarchical authority actually challenged it when read in their proper context.

Red Flags of Spiritual Abuse

How can you recognize when Scripture is being weaponized? Watch for these warning signs:

Selective citation: Abusers often quote isolated verses while ignoring broader biblical themes and contexts that would challenge their interpretation.

Demands for blind obedience: Healthy spiritual relationships encourage questions and growth. Spiritual abuse punishes curiosity and demands unthinking compliance.

Different standards: Abusers often hold themselves to lower standards than they demand from others, citing their authority or special calling as justification.

Fear-based motivation: While healthy conviction leads to hope and growth, spiritual abuse uses fear, shame, and threats to motivate compliance.

Isolation from other perspectives: Spiritual abusers often discourage victims from seeking outside counsel, reading different interpretations, or talking to others about their concerns.

Punishment for boundaries: Healthy relationships respect reasonable boundaries. Spiritual abuse treats any attempt to set limits as rebellion or lack of faith.

How Scripture Gets Twisted: Common Tactics

Understanding how abusers manipulate biblical texts can help us recognize and resist these tactics:

Context stripping: Taking verses out of their historical, cultural, and literary contexts to make them say something the original authors never intended.

Cultural blindness: Ignoring how ancient cultural practices affected biblical instructions, treating first-century household codes as timeless divine commands.

Selective literalism: Being rigidly literal with passages that support their agenda while ignoring or spiritualizing passages that challenge it.

Fear mongering: Using passages about God's judgment or consequences of disobedience to create anxiety and compliance.

Identity confusion: Conflating submission to God with submission to human authority figures, making resistance to abusive leaders seem like rebellion against God.

The True Heart of Biblical Authority

When we strip away the manipulation and return to Scripture's authentic message, we discover that biblical authority actually protects the vulnerable rather than empowering abusers:

God defends the oppressed: "He administers justice for the fatherless and the widow, and loves the stranger, giving him food and clothing" (Deuteronomy 10:18, NKJV).

Jesus confronted religious abuse: Much of Jesus' harshest criticism was directed at religious leaders who "bind heavy burdens, hard to bear, and lay them on men's shoulders; but they themselves will not move them with one of their fingers" (Matthew 23:4, NKJV).

Love is the supreme command: "By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another" (John 13:35, NKJV). Any interpretation of Scripture that produces fear, control, and harm rather than love has missed the mark.

Freedom is Christ's gift: "Stand fast therefore in the liberty by which Christ has made us free, and do not be entangled again with a yoke of bondage" (Galatians 5:1, NKJV).

Practical Steps for Healing

If you've experienced spiritual abuse, here are some steps toward healing and reclaiming healthy faith:

Find trauma-informed support: Seek counselors or support groups that understand religious trauma. Not all therapists recognize how spiritual abuse affects people differently from other forms of trauma.

Study Scripture in community: Reading the Bible in isolation after spiritual abuse can be retraumatizing. Find safe people who can help you rediscover God's true character.

Take time to deconstruct: It's okay to question everything you were taught. Pulling apart false teachings isn't losing faith—it's finding authentic faith beneath religious programming.

Set boundaries with toxic influences: You may need to limit or eliminate contact with people or environments that continue to spiritually abuse you, even if they're family or former church communities.

Remember God's heart: The God revealed in Jesus came to "heal the brokenhearted" and "set at liberty those who are oppressed" (Luke 4:18, NKJV). Any teaching that leaves you feeling condemned, controlled, or diminished doesn't reflect His character.

For Leaders: Creating Safe Spaces

If you're in spiritual leadership, here's how to ensure you're not unknowingly enabling spiritual abuse:

Examine your use of Scripture: Are you using biblical texts to empower people or control them? Do your interpretations produce freedom or fear?

Welcome questions and disagreement: Healthy leaders aren't threatened by people who think differently or ask hard questions.

Acknowledge your limitations: Admit when you don't know something, when you've made mistakes, and when you need accountability.

Prioritize people over institutions: When there's conflict between protecting your ministry's reputation and protecting vulnerable people, choose people every time.

Learn about abuse dynamics: Educate yourself about how abusers operate and how spiritual abuse specifically functions within religious communities.

Reclaiming the Sword of the Spirit

The author of Hebrews describes God's word as "living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword" (Hebrews 4:12, NKJV). But this sword is meant to divide truth from error, not to wound the innocent or protect the guilty.

When we reclaim Scripture from those who would weaponize it, we rediscover its true power: to bring healing to the brokenhearted, freedom to the captives, and justice to the oppressed. We find that biblical authority serves love, not control; empowers the weak, not the powerful; and creates safety, not fear.

As I've learned through my own journey from religious programming to Kingdom freedom, the same Scripture that was once used to keep me trapped actually contains the keys to liberation. The difference lies not in the words themselves but in whose hands hold them and for what purpose they're wielded.

True biblical authority looks like Jesus: washing feet, healing wounds, confronting bullies, and laying down power for the sake of love. Anything that looks different—no matter how much religious language surrounds it—isn't biblical authority at all.

It's time to take back God's word from those who would use it to harm rather than heal. The sword of Holy Spirit belongs in the hands of servants, not tyrants. And when we wield it properly, it cuts through the lies that bind people and sets the captives free.

Blessings,
Susan 😊